People who know their dream and what they want to be or achieve in the future are truly admirable in my view. They have already gotten this resolution and will set out to achieve it. The feeling of knowing just what you are going to get is definitely better than just ambling along life's paths, wondering what is in for you next. They say that the teenage years are the rebellious part of a person's life. What they left out in the saying is that the teenage years is when someone actually carves out their ideals and learns the ways of the world. True, many would agree that when you retire from your job and slowly age, you will definitely realised that your perspective of the world will greatly differ from what you had expected and thought of it when you are just an ignorant teenager. But the things that you were influenced by through the environment you were in when young has proven to be a huge impact on your personality and thinking. Does that mean that the choices made when you were a teenager would also affect what you will be in the future? These thoughts would swim around my head when people talk about how far they have gone in their life, their career paths, their families, and how much has changed since they were my age.

Maybe it's just normal to feel insecure at my young age. But what about friends who have already decided to be doctors, mothers, lawyers, and even where they want to work in? When I hear people talking about what they want for their career, I get this scary feeling. How do people have ambitions? How do they find their life's true calling? Even if they do have ambitions, how do they get the confidence and courage to be able to take pride in it and know that they will not fail their own expectations?

Last Saturday, I went with my mum to Auntie Shirlene's house. The adults were discussing their own topics as usual and suddenly, the topic of my school life was brought up. Questions about what subjects I am intending to take started to pop up. I was then suddenly struck by how aimless my life was. In my life so far, I had never really taken the idea of 'long-term' planning seriously. To me, I never really wanted something very badly - unless you count the times whereby I desperately didn't want to fail a subject or be embarrassed. Even getting into my school was quite a spur of moment decision (I changed my first choice the last minute). As my answers to the well-meaning questions asked by the adults were inadequate, I guess, they just got kinda concerned for me. Advice and stuff about how the subjects you choose would affect your career prospects next time got me worried then. Who knows, maybe most teenagers feel the same way as me.

Tomorrow will be the overdue farewell party for Ms Tham and Mr Albert Tay. I wonder what song are we expected to perform tomorrow. I got a bad feeling about singing Alleluia and Mighty Wonder though. I really hope my premonition will not be worth caring in the end.