Il y a la douleur
Wednesday, July 27, 2011 @ 9:53 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I've been feeling really depressed for the past few days. I think I'm PMS-ing. I feel so drained that I'm too tired to even smile anymore. It's those moments of self-doubt, when you find that you wish to do so much but you're not excelling in anything. My old gastric problem is also back and it's not making things any better.
On a brighter note, I finally got my French results today. I did fairly well and at least it was above my expectations. I managed to get 78/100 for my test. Unfortunately, I doubt I'd do as well for the upcoming test since I skipped two lessons and I've got quite a bit of catching up to do.
By the way, I was having lunch at Burger King with my classmates on Monday and Avelin actually got a box of funnel cakesticks for free. I think the staff at the counter accidentally slotted it in while rushing through our orders. These things taste and smell like play-dough though. Not too appealing to eat after the first bite.
Oh, the irony.
Sunday, July 24, 2011 @ 9:15 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
A conversation with someone years ago,
"Can I be considered as a best friend?"
"Do you believe in fate?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"I don't believe in best friends."
"Why?"
"Friends come and go after a while."
"What about best friends then?"
"They'll still leave in the end."
"Will you keep in contact with me in the future?"
"No. Do you believe in fate?"
"I don't know. Maybe?"
"If it's meant to be, we'll meet."
"Do you believe in soulmates then?"
"Everything is the same. They are just labels."
"Can I be considered as a best friend?"
"Do you believe in fate?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"I don't believe in best friends."
"Why?"
"Friends come and go after a while."
"What about best friends then?"
"They'll still leave in the end."
"Will you keep in contact with me in the future?"
"No. Do you believe in fate?"
"I don't know. Maybe?"
"If it's meant to be, we'll meet."
"Do you believe in soulmates then?"
"Everything is the same. They are just labels."
I guess it's a pessimist's way of thinking about friendship. Ironically, my friend believed in destiny. I can't remember the exact words, but the conversation played out as shown above. It's not surprising that we're not in touch anymore. He was right that friends come and go in life. It's tough keeping hold of a friend. I try my best to talk and hold on to most of my friends but people do drift apart sometimes, I guess. Either that or I've been an awful friend to have lost touch with so many people. The one who said all those cynical lines above in particular. But it could be for the better sometimes. There's never a direct answer when it comes to human relations, is there?
Labels: 6906, Extracts; anecdotes; quotes
I'm not sure what I did today
Thursday, July 21, 2011 @ 4:59 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
My tutorial today was canceled as my lecturer had a family emergency to attend to. I hope my lecturer is alright. It seems pretty serious if she has to cancel a tutorial in the last minute.
Unfortunately, I was tapping out of the ticketing barrier at Dover station when I received the text message that there would be no tutorial today. Since they were also already on their way to school, I waited for Matin and Zi Wei at the station. We wanted to meet Avelin, Joey and Wai Meng afterwards but they asked us to head over to Orchard Road first since they wanted to finish up their breakfast at Raffles Place. They ended up staying at Raffles Place till noon instead, while Matin, Zi Wei and me ended up loitering in Takashimaya.
The three of us spent nearly two hours at the McDonalds' at Lucky Plaza. I've not been to town for ages actually. The last time I was in that same McDonalds', I was with Juniper, Yi Bin and Claudia. We were ordering the tops for the choir's performance at the Singapore Conference Hall. That was two years ago. I guess I didn't really go out that much when I was a Secondary school student, huh.
We later went to the Kinokuniya branch at Takashimaya. I bought a novel and then dragged the guys over to the stationery section. They didn't seem fascinated by it though. On my way there, I found this handbook on Singlish and it was really interesting learning the different terms. I didn't know Singlish could be so complex or diversified! Anyway, we tried to search for Zi Wei's manga afterwards but either the shelf doesn't exist or the book is hidden in some obscure corner. I'm guessing it's the former.
Lunch with mummy at Bugis Junction afterwards was nice. Mummy bought another two books for me at the Kinokuniya branch over there. They were not really pricey so she decided to buy it for me. I've got plenty of books to read now! I just need to find time to read them all.
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[Edit]
I realise I have yet to post about the Leadership training session on Wednesday. It was actually quite a light-hearted session, since the lecturer was a fun person. We started with identifying and making out optical illusions. Everyone helped each other to see the hidden pictures. The lecturer then moved on to sobre topics like Asperger's Syndrome, schizophrenia and depression.
I also got to talk to people from 01 too! The last time I spoke someone from 01 was Collin during the training for SPXperience (which got cancelled, by the way). The two classes don't really mingle anyway. I got to know Amanda, King, Cherlyn, Heidi and I think Asyiqin (I'm really not sure of her name). They were really friendly and candid. At least I now know more people from 01.
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By the way, I just realised it's Racial Harmony Day today! Happy Racial Harmony Day, everyone! Maybe we could get everyone to dress up in ethnic costumes next year!
Labels: CASS, window shopping
And I was just wondering,
Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 10:42 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Why is everything placed on a Wednesday? This wouldn't be the first time I'd be skipping French lesson when I think I really ought not to. But the leadership training session seems important too. There is also the briefing for the leadership camp going on at the same time and I need to hand in my registration form for that too. I'm just glad that my dilemma isn't as complex as Wai Meng's, who has so many more events to go for tomorrow.
By the way, I've finally watched the final movie of the Harry Potter series. The effects and soundtrack were great although I think the movie ended rather abruptly. I couldn't help but start crying when the professors and students stood up against Lord Voldermort while protecting Hogwarts. The part where they start working together to form a shield around Hogwarts was when I started crying. My tears just couldn't stop afterwards. It sure didn't help that Snape died so horribly and that his past was so heart-wrenching. Especially when they showed his love for Lily.
Nine of us watched the movie this afternoon: Avelin, Joey, Wai Meng, Cong Xu, Zhao Yi, Yvette, Annzy, Chuan Ying and me. We killed time by playing 'Truth or Dare' without the 'dare' part. Some questions and answers were quite funny, although I can't really remember anything now. There was also a huge confusion over the seats when we entered the cinema too because there were nine of us and we had to split into two rows. At least we settled down before the movie started.
I watched 500 Days of Summer recently too - but alone at home, this time. The movie started with the usual 'Boy meets Girl' kind of plot. But it was really heart-wrenching when the girl didn't end up with the guy in the end. Instead of the usual 'Boy doesn't like Girl', you get the female lead being unable to commit because she doesn't believe in love despite doing everything a normal couple does with the guy. The best irony came when she gets falls in love with another guy and starts believing in love, leaving the first guy behind. That's a really harsh blow.
I wonder how people know when they are in love. Sure, I've had infatuations (who hasn't?). But what makes it different when you're in love? How do you know that you truly love the person and that it's not just a simple crush?
Labels: Captured by the lens, CASS, French, Movies
A Movie and The First Fieldtrip
Thursday, July 07, 2011 @ 8:51 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I recently watched the Thai movie Chocolate (also known as Fury) and it made me cry buckets. It's a 2008 film and its Thai name is ช็อคโกแลต if you want to search for it. It's not the usual kind of movies I would watch - it's more of an action movie with lots of violence in it.
But it's not just another senseless violent show, mind you. You could read the plot here but to sum things up, it's all about the life of a mother, Zin, with an autistic daughter, Zen, who was the result of her affair with a Yakuza boss. Zen has a special talent of being able to catch just about anything thrown at her. She also picked up martial arts purely just through observing people fighting and watching TV shows. This talent of Zen later proved to be a huge advantage as her mother's ex-boyfriend, a Thai gangster, seeks vengeance afterwards.
The entire plot is actually on Wikipedia. What made me really cry my heart out was when I saw how strong the bond between Zin and Zen is in the story. Fate was cruel to the mother-daughter pair and both of them tried their hardest to protect each other in their own ways throughout the film. It was particularly heart-wrenching to watch the ending. If you like touching movies with lots of action packed in it, I would recommend Chocolate.
Moving on, I went on a class field trip to Keppel Bay Creek this morning. It was really interesting listening to our guides talk about Keppel Club's green initiatives and the exhibit was pretty. There was even a replica of a kampung hut in the exhibit hall! There were dried leaves strewn around the place and it brought about a rustic feel. There was also a portion modeled after the movie Avatar.
The field trip reminded me a lot about what I had learnt in Geography. I remember memorising all the coastal protection techniques (that's where the mangroves come in), responsible forestry and the uses of rainforests. It made me miss Geography lessons all of a sudden.
The guides were really friendly and there was Abdullah the character played by one of the staff members, who told us a lot about kampung life. I also got to play five stones at the kampung exhibit. It's been ages since I last played it! I remember playing it nearly everyday when I was in Primary school. My friends and I would compete with each other with the many stages. My skills are really rusty now though. I couldn't even get past the fourth stage successfully. Maybe I should search for my five stones and practise once more!
Quite a few of us went over to Vivo City afterwards. After eating our lunch, we headed to Topshop, where Natasya, Shreya, Joey and Shahidah gave Wai Meng a mini makeover. Hazel, Avelin and I also tried on maxi dresses to pass the time. I found this really beautiful strapless maxi dress which fit me extremely well. I nearly bought it but decided not to in the end. I mean, I don't really have any occasion to wear it. It's such a big pity. In fact, I can't help but keep thinking about that dress. Oh well.
We all walked around for a bit afterwards and just sat down at a corner of the mall since everyone was pretty tired. I even managed to fall asleep right in the middle of the shopping center - I woke up with a headache though.
Labels: CASS, classouting, window shopping
To sum up the weekend
Sunday, July 03, 2011 @ 10:07 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Today's the first time I went back to school on a Sunday. It was all for my General Education project. I didn't even know we had a project till one of my Gen Ed classmate told me about it. Thank goodness my group finished it within three hours this afternoon - just a day before the presentation.
It's also the second day I skipped lunch. I haven't been feeling well and I couldn't eat much before leaving for the SIWF yesterday. It was the same today too and I got really hungry once it's mid-afternoon. But there's no way I'd be losing weight any time soon. Mummy is shoving food to me just because I couldn't eat lunch on both days. I can see my weight fluctuating once more.
One more thing:
IS THERE A WAY TO REMOVE A SPLINTER PAINLESSLY?
There's a splinter embedded in my palm. It got stuck when I carried the wooden paddles to the raft after the race yesterday. Help.
H2O
Saturday, July 02, 2011 @ 11:01 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Last Sunday was my last guitar lesson. I didn't say much to my teacher or to Eugenia and Tammy. I didn't know what to say. All I knew was that I felt really emotional, thinking of the past four and a half years with them. While Mr Wong went to photocopy a Beatles' song, the two girls and I talked about how the first few years were.
I remember Eugenia being the only girl coming to the first lesson in a skirt (not a wise choice). There was also Eugene who sat next to me for the first year before he quit altogether. He was the guy who nearly snapped his guitar strings while trying rasgueado and caused Kai Ming (who left the class in the first year too) to laugh so hard that he had to step outside just to cool down. There were also Jason, Owen and a few others whose name I've forgotten. That was the original class, before more students were added in to replace those who'd left.
I managed to take a photo with Mr Wong and the two girls before I left - not for good, I hope. Maybe there'd be a day when I'd go back. I couldn't help but cry a little afterwards but it's time to move on, I guess. I've already made my decision and I mean to stick by it.
That aside, lots of things have been happening and I've been kept so busy and tired with my projects and whatnot that I've not gotten much time to blog. There was the Singapore International Water Festival (SIWF) organised by SP at the Marina Barrage today. I was a last minute addition to the raft race team for CASS so I went to support them for the raft race. I still feel bad that I could not get on the raft. I mean, if I could have done the rowing, Matin would not have to rush from his photo shoot to get to the Marina Barrage in time for the race without his lunch.
It's a mystery why I am such a bad swimmer - that is if I can count as swimmer. I've taken swimming lessons (no thanks to my secondary school), but my hand-leg coordination is horrible and the coach kind of gave up on me after several failed attempts to teach me the technique of treading water. Till today, I have no idea how one treads water. Which is really scary to me, since that is the basic survival skill when you get thrown into water. It's a miracle that I could kayak for three days during OBS. Well, not that much of a miracle actually, since I was coerced into kayaking. There wasn't a choice. My poor friends had to pull me by the life-vest each time we went into the sea. I really should learn how to swim, so that I never need to inconvenience anyone because of it again.
Painting the raft aluminium turned out to be quite a good thing, since it was a really striking colour. It was easy to see which was our raft, even when Zhao Yi, Stefanie and Matin were out in the waters. It was pretty cute watching them paddle. Unfortunately, when they finally reached the jetty, there was some difficulty in getting the three of them and the raft out of the water. I freaked out initially because Matin looked like he was in agony from where I was standing - imagine Ms Josephine's and my shock when he dropped into the water instead of getting onto the platform. We ran down to the jetty immediately and the two of us were panicking (well Ms Josephine was pretty calm but her face looked really anxious).
Once we got down to the jetty, the three of them were already out of the water. Turned out that Matin's foot was just caught in the ropes and he dived underneath to get it out, I think. At least it wasn't anything serious - although I really thought that he was in agony for a while. Zhao Yi and Stefanie managed to get out after being hauled up by one of the student helpers. The student helpers were a great help by the way - especially so when the raft was so heavy.
The three of them later went to the water play area to cool off, with Afiq joining afterwards. I guess I spent the time watching little kids play with the fountains. There was this cute little toddler who rush back to hug his dad's leg each time he got scared of the fountain. I couldn't help but smile while watching him. I think I now can understand a little of how parents feel when they watch their children play or grow. The little boy was utterly adorable!
There wasn't much to do after the race. The team finished second from the back, which is good nevertheless. I mean, the raft wasn't built for speed so it wasn't that bad. Not to mention that the three looked like they had fun rowing today. It was a nice experience, I suppose. Maybe I should learn how to swim before trying for the raft race next year!
