As a mere kid, I had countless ambitions. Kids are fickle, and my 'ambitions' changed really fast. It seems funny that I'm not entirely sure what I want now. On the other hand, I am sure what I do not want.

I know that I won't want to be a nurse despite saying so a long time ago. I can't even stand the sight of blood or pain. I think I may be the one to pass out instead if I were to give someone else an injection. I know I can't be a firefighter or a doctor. I can't trust myself to be able to handle the stress and emotional burdens that are tied to that kind of jobs. I lack the kind of passion that I admire when I see it in those in the medical workforce or civil services. Neither am I suited for anything to do with science. 

I used to love science actually. But after I came to know about the existence of this subject called Chemistry which is still all Greek to me, and that all other sciences are closely related to it (thus making it compulsory to study it along with Physics or Biology); I realise that I can't bear to study anything related to Chemistry again. Two years of the subject was already painful enough for me. It's not that my teacher was a monster. In fact, she's a really nice person and she encourages all her students all the time. But I have no interest in Chemistry. Understanding it is akin to a duck trying to converse with a fish (although I wonder if that can actually happen). In the end, I had to try my best to memorise the textbook just in order to know what Chemistry is about. Or maybe I'm just dumb that way. 

Right now, I'm not sure how I should proceed on after I've graduated. I know I'm not going to do well for my examinations and that my results will not be fantastic. Which institution will be suitable? Will my aggregate be sufficient? Those kind of questions float in my head like an ever present buoy. If I'm already so confused just after a graduation, what am I going to do next time, wherever I go, when I graduate again? Does 'nowhere' actually exists? I often wonder.