Neutrality
Friday, December 23, 2011 @ 2:50 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Sometimes I find it difficult to express my thoughts and feelings in words. I know it's funny, since I'm studying in a writing course. I should have absolutely no problems coming up with an adequate description or expression of my inner self. But somehow it's difficult for me to do that. I come up with strange analogies instead. I think that's how I got the 'weird' label among my peers too.
Another problem is that I'm not exactly fantastic at showing my emotions. I've lost count of the number of people I've disappointed with my reactions to their surprises. I just freeze up and end up with a bland face, when that's not what I'm feeling at that moment actually. It seems too forced when I try to smile and give a big reaction too. I think I could be having my own fireworks showcase inside of me while the poker face is being shown to the world instead. Could it be that I lack in the emotional quotient department?
Or maybe it could be that my very first instinct each time I feel a negative emotion is to hide my unhappiness. Somehow that reflex extends to the happiness I feel too - my face goes blank. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into things.
Whenever I get happy, I get scared. Because I know I'll be sad again.
Dragon Squad (2005)
Labels: Extracts; anecdotes; quotes
