(credits to A Celebration of Women)

It was quite a fruitful weekend for me. After such a long time, I finally went shopping with my mum. I spent quite a large portion of what I'd saved from my allowance. Well, I'll just comfort myself with the fact that it's been a long time since I'd gone shopping with anyone. Aside from clothes, I bought the le sucre rabbit dolls I've been wanting to buy for so long! I actually got one from Gimpo airport last year but now my rabbit has company! I was gushing over the little pushcart stall with the rabbit dolls before I settled on getting two to bring home. We then went around browsing through the shops. My mum and I returned home really tired after spending an entire afternoon at Vivo City. I should start saving more money so I could buy more things the next time. Maybe I could try skipping lunch again - I used to do that in secondary school. 

That aside, I wonder if I should start a 微博 (weibo) account. After such a long time, I've kind of lost touch with my Mother Tongue. I catch myself being tongue-tied each time someone speaks to me in Mandarin. It takes me a longer time to process everything now. I've forgotten a lot of the idioms and phrases 林老师 taught us during the countless lessons. Come to think of it, I sort of enjoyed Chinese Language lessons back when my teachers were nice. 

My very first teacher was this young lady from China who wore at least 3-inch platforms to my preschool daily. She taught us purely through rote learning. My huge fear of 听写 (Mandarin dictation; something like spelling, except in Chinese characters) started all from the tender age of five. When I failed my weekly 听写 the teacher's glare would be so petrifying and I would have to do all the corrections many times over. Which was no different from all the 习字 exercises she made us do to practise anyway. But come to think of it, it was because of all the memory work I had to do that helped me later. I mean, Mandarin used to be one of my weaker subjects till I met this awfully nice teacher when I was twelve. 陈老师 taught us a lot and helped to provide English translations for all the phrases we didn't understand. Thankfully, I managed to do well for the subject and moved on to Crescent, where all the teachers, especially 林老师, were really good too. Thus my Mandarin improved a lot. 

Now that I can no longer go for 林老师's lessons, I find that I don't really have an opportunity to use Mandarin anymore. It's no surprise that my Mandarin is getting rusty. It gets awkward when I automatically reply in English right after someone speaks to me in Mandarin. Really awkward. Then the auntie or uncle would presume that I'm not local and struggle to reply in English and ask me questions about my hometown (they think I'm a tourist from either Korea or Vietnam). I seriously ought to stop this bad habit of mine. 

Anyway, I was thinking about having a weibo account which would force me to use Mandarin. The problem is that I'm already having quite a tough time making out the words on the homepage. Or I could just post in Mandarin on Twitter. I'm just making things more complicated by having a weibo actually. Hm.

By the way, I just took a personality test a few days ago. The last time I took one was four years ago. Apparently I'm no longer an ISTP based on the Myers-Briggs personality type. My current personality type is quite similar to my previous though. Somehow I feel that my current fits me more actually. I wonder if the Myer-Briggs personality types are accurate. To fit everyone's personality into sixteen categories, there'll bound to be exceptions all the time. I guess it depends on individual beliefs - something like astrology. 

Part of my doodles today.

Recently, I feel like there are two different sides of me. You know those cartoon shows where a devil and an angel appear over the character's shoulder? Yeah, something like that, just without all the cutesy illustrations or the mocking laughter. I've never felt this way before. 

I feel like I've been overly dependent on the others around me. Too dependent. In fact, sometimes I hate myself for being so needy and helpless. It's a wonder how my friends bore with me all this while. I'm trying my best to be independent and not ask for help from others. Unless there really is no way for me to accomplish a task on my own.

Another thing that has been troubling me is that my dreams have been getting stranger and darker each night. I feel like I've fallen into a sombre version of Alice in Wonderland. I've been so disturbed that I can't help but wonder the reason for my dreams. If the saying “日有所思，夜有所梦" (what you think of during the day will appear in your dreams at night) is true, then what do my dreams represent then? That I have evil creatures after me and the rest of the scary scenarios of me dying or nearly dying? I've drowned, fallen off a cliff, pushed and chased in my dreams. Or nightmares in this case.

I hope I won't do too badly for French. Yesterday's exam wasn't difficult but I found the grammar questions mightily confusing. My only consolation was writing out the numbers for the rest of the questions. Anyway, the exam is already over, so I guess there's no use moping over it now. I now have another thing to do during the holidays: to brush up on French so that I wouldn't get into a blubbering confused mess when the new term starts.

We got to know our score for WMP (Writing across Media Platforms) module CA1 today. I'm happy that my score turned out to be above my expectations. Ms Gamar told me that I could have written more for the second section though. That was where I lost out. I could have squeezed one more sentence in. I suppose I kind of lost a few marks in that section. Otherwise, I guess I'm happy with my score. I'm kind of worried for CA2 now - it sounds intimidating. It's something related designing the content of a website with the demographics of the target audience in mind. Guess I'll tackle it when the time comes.

You know, sometimes I wonder why it's in our nature to hanker after things we know we can't get. Even the most realistic and practical person would admit that there are certain things he wishes for in life which he is sure he would never get. But then there is also the hysteron proteron. The truth is that we always want things we don't have. It's something I got from Google actually. I suppose it's human nature not to be contented with what we have in our hands at present. Everyone seeks his or her ideal life - the perfect cardboard lifestyles that only exists in fairytales. Most of the time, they only regret and cherish what they missed when they look back.Yet it's this very human flaw that led us to this day, with all the progress in society, technology etcetera. Even the weapons used to kill changes each war. It's quite an ironic thing.

That aside, I've been feeling quite moody lately. I'm not sure why I feel so down but it's not helping that I'm also getting so tired these days. There is the increasing tendency to fall asleep easily. There are also times when my self-esteem hits the rock bottom and I can't help but feel so ugly and awful. Then I remember the days when classmates called me ugly and weird. I don't know myself anymore. Even the ugly duckling became a swan - am I still the same, or have I changed? For better or worse?

Usually, it takes months for me to be close to new classmates. It's strange, but I feel like I've known my current classmates for years despite it being just a month. Could it be because of the time spent on our projects? With so many projects, it is inevitable to work with different people each time. I realise the group dynamics vary drastically with different combinations of people. 

But honestly speaking, it's kind of scary how fast I've grown close to my friends in my class. It's like there's this fast forward button being pressed. Just about a month ago, I was hoping so desperately for my classmates to be friendly and that I'd be able to befriend everyone - maybe if I'm lucky, get a close friend or two. But now I feel really glad that I've made many more friends that I'd expected. Everyone's really great to talk to. I've also made close friends too. 

Time flies and it's going to be June soon. Hopefully, I'd be able to meet my ex-classmates. I miss them so much. My current classmates are great but it's different, I guess. I can't compare the two groups and I won't do that. But I admit that I miss being with the girls in G1. A mixed school is really, really different. Guys are easier to talk to actually, but my previous class did not have as much drama - which could be tiring sometimes. I suppose that's partly why I can never compare which class is better. Both are as awesome. 

Looking back, I've changed. I used to have quite a strong personality in class since I was the class chairperson. I was also used to being a leader since I was the Vice President in my CCA. I would always try to take charge of everything, organise everything and leading others. Contrary to that, I'm now more of a 'follower'. I don't know why, but I find that I'm now able to have more fun with my friends, since I don't need to think of the welfare of the class anymore. There's no more attendance taking, no more pep talks, no more discipline issues to tackle with, no more events to organise, no more workshops to attend. In a way, I'm much more laid-back now. It's a wonder how people change, isn't it? Or could it be my way of adapting to the environment?

The weather is getting to me. I was well on the road to recovery when I fell ill again this week. I don't think anyone noticed that I was plagued by a slight fever or that I'm now having flu a second time round. There's still the annoying incessant cough too. I blame the weather.

I wonder if I'm that easy to read. Many have told me that my face gives my emotions away pretty easily and that I wear my heart on my sleeve. A few were unhappy with me for not confiding in them though. I don't know, but I find it difficult to talk about how I feel exactly if I don't feel that close to them in the first place. It sure doesn't help that my those around me know when I'm sad and that I don't share my thoughts as openly as they hope for me to. But I'm trying. 

I've been busy recently. There's yoga, French and the training for SP Experience now. Not that I mind. I find it fun to be able to take part in the SP Experience programme. It's just that there'll be a French test coming up soon and I'm kind of worried about that since I'm not clear about the French verbs just yet. As for yoga, the inverted poses made me really giddy yesterday. The giddiness developed into motion sickness when I boarded the train home. Hopefully, I'd be able to sleep off the headache by Monday.

That aside, I'm a little worried about the CAs for the remaining two modules. The two that are the most technical: De-constructing Television and Visual Communication. Well, I'm trying to get a hang of DT now. But I'm kind of bad in Photoshop for VC. I need a crash course.

另外，我好久没有讲华语了。。。一年没利用到华文，语文能力已经退步许多了。几天前，有位阿姨问我怎么到附近的地铁站。明明是想带路陪她去地铁站。可是因为自己正在赶时间，所以就只好试告诉那位阿姨往哪方向走。可是我好像完全忘了怎么讲华语似的，一直吞吞吐吐地和她沟通，不停地试把自己讲的英语翻译成华语给她。结果不知道她明不明白我在讲什么。好丢脸哦！

An imprudent enemy is less dangerous than an imprudent friend. - Mason Cooley 

It's not right for me to say this, but I can't help but feel a little left out as my friends all take part in SYF in their respective schools. SYF was such an important part of my life previously. Now that I need not give pep talks, gear myself up for grueling practices and rehearsals, I do feel slightly empty when listening my friends talk about SYF or choir. 

As much as I wish to join a choir again, I doubt I'll get a chance to do so. There isn't a choir in my current school. Well, Juniper did ask if I was interested in joining Wild Empire. But I really can't decide if I should quit my guitar classes and try for that instead. I know I could shift to another guitar class, but it'll be tough to manage if I were to have so many activities. I'm still thinking about it. Maybe I should audition for Wild Empire first or ask if Ms Ong wants me there. I've not sang for a year already. 

Aside from that, I went for the yoga lesson with Shahida yesterday evening. It was painful but it felt sort of relieving and fun stretching my body. I don't really have any muscle ache when I woke up this morning. My body just felt like it was stretched but it's not the usual agony I feel when I run after a long time. Not those kind of muscle aches. Those are horrible. 

Yoga is kind of fun, but waiting four hours just for it to start isn't. At least I had my group discussion for my CSM CA1 at the Hilltop Haven so it wasn't so bad. But what am I going to do to fill up my time for the coming weeks? I guess I shall bring my novels with my beloved ipod. Or maybe I could try to watch the TV shows my friends watch: stuff like How I Met Your Mother, The Vampire Diaries, and Desperate Housewives. My progress is kind of slow though - I'm still watching the first few episodes of HIMYM. I don't really watch shows with so much kissing or flirting actually. But there's always a first time! Maybe after watching more, I'd finally be able to understand all the innuendos the rest of my friends seem to know about.

Then there was also the failed plan to watch the movie 'Source Code'. The original plan was just to catch the early afternoon show at Cathay. Unfortunately, we couldn't agree on another movie when we decided not to watch 'Source Code' anymore. Quite a few people decided not to go too and we ended up with just Elijah, Matin, Zi Wei and me. Somehow, the four of us ended up at the bowling alley where I watched the boys bowl. Zi Wei also managed to learn how to tie his shoelaces that day. It's kind of weird how 'watching a movie' turned into 'let's go to the bowling alley'. Pascal even predicted that we would end up not watching a movie in the end that morning. His prediction actually came true. But it was fun nevertheless. 

Now I just need to find someone else to watch 'Source Code' and 'Rio' with me. 

After reading about 'A Geek Love Story' from Newsweek, it got me thinking about the true definition of this thing called 'Love'.

There are different types of love and I've said 'I love you' many times to my friends. Of course those are all under the platonic category of Friendship. But it is Love all the same, for Love is a broad term, branching out to nearly all kinds of relationships, whether intimate or not. Love could even be religious, patriotic, possessive, or just platonic.

What about love between a man and a woman. The kind of love that makes one's heart flutter happily like a butterfly's wings. The kind that starts from a single spark of attraction. The kind that makes you feel that the world stops for a while when you look into the other party's eyes. Is that possible just solely through technology and without physical contact?

It's rare, and it's definitely difficult, but hey, anything's possible. When I was reading the first few parts of the article of how they'd first came across each other's avatars on Second Life, my first thought was, 'That's really shallow - they just started talking to each other because of their pretty avatars. What happens if they aren't like that in real life?' Then I realise that it happens in reality too. Sure, it is superficial. But it's true that physical attraction usually comes first.

Then comes Stage Two, where the couple starts to get to know each other. For this couple who was featured in the article, physical contact is definitely impossible - unless they are filthily rich and could take airplanes just as easily as flagging a cab. The couple also admitted that it was tough sustaining the relationship, since they are miles apart with separate lives. But their relationship lasted and they are still very much in love with each other despite meeting each other only a few times. Since they knew very well that their Second Life avatars did not actually look like them, perhaps it would be fair to say that this couple fell in love with each other's personalities first, before anything else. They didn't meet only after getting to know each other online after all. 

The first time I read the article, I'd only thought that what they felt for each other was not actually Love. Anyone can change who they really are on the Net, let alone Second Life. It could be a form of escapism for them, for their love lives in reality weren't exactly fantastic. However, the second time I read through the same page, I had different thoughts altogether. The love they have for each other is very much like what normal couples have. There's nothing to mock at. 

That said, I don't exactly support singles hooking up online. The chances of getting your soulmate online is one in a million since you never know who might be behind that screen. 

Side-note: Wow, I sound like a relationship expert when I've not been in one myself. Just bear with me. 

I've always believed that it's in human nature to judge, even if it's wrong (well, then some may go on to say that it's indeed human nature to err anyway). 

I went back to Crescent right after my lesson ended today to meet my juniors. I was invited back to speak to them and to motivate them. Somehow, I doubt I did that. Sure, I did prepare. I even did a draft/outline of what I wanted to say. It could be that I've not spoken to a large crowd for a long time. I didn't do well at all. In fact, my mind was in a jumble. This is why I'm always not used to prepared talks. I somewhat do better when it's an impromptu. 

In some sense, I think I'm lucky that I'm now studying my interest instead of being in a regular JC. I didn't stay long in Crescent since I found it mightily awkward being with the JC students in the canteen. It didn't help that my past Chemistry teacher didn't recognise me at all. The rest of my ex-schoolmates were complaining about their school and about how Secondary school life gave them so much more freedom and time. Funnily, I find that SP has given me a lot more freedom. It's not really about not having a uniform although that's part of it too. I think my current school actually allows me to express myself freely because of the culture over there. Or it could be that a lot more freedom is given to us students and we all learn to be independent instead of adhering to a structured school life as it is in JC. 

Previously, I had doubts about Polytechnics because of the usual social stigma about the students there. Then I realised that, hey, every school or institution has 'bad' students, those who cut classes exorbitantly or take it upon themselves to break nearly every rule they can find in the handbook. Thus, I decided to take the chance, to just put my current course as my third choice. If I can't make it into my ideal JC, I'm going to get into SP no matter what. I'm not going to settle for other JCs and if I get my third choice, at least I get to do something I actually like. 

Strangely, the week before the posting results were released, I had this feeling that I was going to SP. I didn't mind when I got into the school too. But I guess it was because of my friends' persuading that I decided to appeal for my first choice instead. I'm now really glad that the appeal didn't go through. I think - no, I know - that I'd be unhappy in JC. It's been a long time since I felt this happy. 

Maybe I was just being bull-headed. But if I were to be honest, I had a hard time dealing with some of my subjects in Secondary school. I used to have no problems acing for most of my subjects - even Math was alright most of the time. That stopped when I got to Upper Secondary. It was hell for me suddenly. 

I used to love Science. Physics was intriguing, Biology was mystical and Math was just, well, there. Suddenly, Physics became frustrating and abstract; Biology only unveiled more unsolved mysteries and confusion, and Math became abdominal. There was the introduction of Chemistry, the alien language I never managed to even begin to understand. Additional Mathematics was painful to study. Elementary Mathematics was dry and dreary. My teachers were all good and they tried to help me individually. Sad to say, it didn't really work out for me because I had no interest in the subjects and it took a lot of difficulty to even understand the basics. I was just dumb that way. 

It made me feel worse that my class was supposedly good at Math and Sciences. While my classmates complained about not doing well for Languages and Humanities, I was struggling with Math and Sciences instead. It could have worked out if we'd helped each other then. But there was a limit to what my peers could do since they had their own other commitments too. Coupled with the fact that I never had tuition, I guess my mum was not surprised that my results were not outstanding when compared to my classmates. Crescent was fun and I love the friends and memories I made there over the last four years. I miss it too. But I guess I had a tough time with the subjects I just could not bring myself to like or to excel in.

Thinking back to how different I felt just a few months ago, I'm really glad that I'm in DTVM now. I've also befriended many people in my new school, and I can actually see myself having an awesome time in the next few years. I'm finally truly happy. 

This whole week has been fun albeit a little exhausting.

I must admit that FOP wasn't as fun as FOC. It was great to meet my classmates finally. I'd been worrying and wondering about my classmates long before school started and I'm glad to have such awesome people as my classmates. Some of them are quiet and I guess it's because we don't know each other that well yet.

We played a few ice-breaker games and toured around the whole campus on the first day. Well, we didn't actually tour around the whole campus since we were all just so tired halfway through the whole thing. We just slacked at the Hilltop Library in the end. SPICE training didn't go too well for me in the evening since my Mac decided to be temperamental with me.

The second day was spent in the lecture hall and we got to watch our seniors perform for us. I was also sabotaged into being the class 'mascot' for the day. My classmates were nice enough not to tie balloons to my chest, like what some other classes did. I wouldn't mind actually but it's really nice of them not to do it anyway. We went along with some 'Lady Gaga' cum I-don't-know-what-it-was concept. I wasn't sure what they were tying to my body, to be honest. Let's just say it was insanely difficult to untie my costume afterwards. But we did manage to cut it off with Elijah's key later. It was a pretty nice outfit my classmates made for me actually. Just not feasible when it rains, I guess.

We then went to Sentosa on Day 3. The bus got lost and was late by an hour, but we did manage to get to the place eventually. Our class got divided into two and my half combined with another class from DADP to form our Amazing Race team. We were Team 4, which managed not to be the last despite getting to the wrong place twice!

Unfortunately, just a few minutes into our race, Natasya fell on the escalator and the sharp edges of the steps stabbed into her shin. It was a scary sight, with all the blood and all. The beach patrol came to pick her up and brought her to the Medical Center where she got treatment for her wound. Thank goodness she didn't need an injection in the end. Injections are always scary.

The rest of the team went around the different spots and it was exhausting after a while. Funnily, we weren't the last team to get back to Emerald Pavilion, which was our final destination. We were the second last, which was already a great achievement, if you take into account the fact that our team's progress was really slow in the beginning.

Then there was the luge ride! It started raining midway but no one was bothered by it and all went ahead with the ride. Zi Wei and I were the only ones who never tried it before. We were initially insisting on the 'Dragon Trail' which was infinitely easier than the 'Jungle Trail'. The two of us ended up taking the 'Jungle Trail' since the other trail was closed off from the path. It was fun, I admit. I was initially quite freaked out by the speed but it got pretty addictive after a while. Everyone was wet after taking the luge in the rain.

After lunch we headed over to Vivo City, where we watched the movie 'Limitless'. It's a pretty good movie although it has been a long time since I've watched anything this gory or serious. I usually just watch chick flicks or animations. Time to grow up, I suppose. I walked around with a few of my classmates after the movie. We just loitered around, talking about random things before deciding to head home since we had to wake up early the next morning for flag day.

Flag day was tiring but kind of fun in it's own way. An Indian man actually donated $50 without even taking the sticker I stuck onto my can! What a nice person! It was thanks to that fifty-dollar note that I became the top 'collector' in my class. My class had to start off the flag day event with the Director and the VIPs at the Plaza at 7.30am in the morning. We then headed over to Clementi, the place we were all assigned to. I got to know someone from Design School there. He's from Games Design. I didn't get his name though. Oh well. It's the first time I've met someone from Design School, since their school is on the other extreme side of the campus. I doubt I'll see my new acquaintance again anyway.

Elijah, Matin, Stefanie, Ziwei and I went to Raffles Place after two hours in Clementi since it seemed like the whole of Design School was there and there were so many other students asking for donations too. The five of us ended up walking around Marina Bay area and then to Golden Shoe Hawker Center doing nothing much but slack. We eventually went back to school and played 'The Game of Life' in the Main Library for an hour. It was more laughing than actual playing. We met the rest of the class back at the classroom later in the afternoon.

It's a pity I didn't stay for long in the evening. The buffet at the Freshmen Party was delicious! I suffered indigestion however and my stomach was killing me, so I didn't get to eat much unfortunately. Wai Meng, Matin, Stefanie, Joey and I went to Moberly after eating to play Band Hero. Wai Meng was the best faux drummer for the band. We loitered about for a few moments before heading back home after the Wii session since the party hadn't really started and most of the class had gone home by then. 

I think it was great that we had the lunch at Pizza Hut on Friday. Alright, it was my crazy idea long before FOP even started and I wanted a sushi buffet actually. But pizza's delicious too! I've not eaten it for a long time! We took loads of photos at the restaurant and I finally got to eat my beloved Hawaiian pizza. Again, we loitered and walked about after lunch. I think it's becoming our class' distinct trait: loitering about whilst blocking the walkway. Such public nuisance we are. But I love my classmates. Well, I better do so anyway, since we're going to be stuck together for the next three years!

My previous post about the FOC may seem a little disjointed at some parts. That's because I'm a lazy blogger and I didn't type the whole long post in one shot - it was typed out bit by bit over the last few days after the camp.

I went to school yesterday for the Mac OS training. They taught us about certain functions on the Mac which are not found on Windows. I didn't really pay much attention however - I was too busy trying hard not to fall asleep. Stefanie and I also met Wei Sze after breakfast. I've not seen Wei Sze since...Primary school? She was my Primary One and Two classmate, if I'm not wrong.

We later went to SIM's Popular bookstore to get accessories for my Mac. I regret buying the hardcover. I wanted my Mac to be pink but somehow the cover just doesn't fit properly. The staff then directed me to their service center which was in Toa Payoh, and within a walking distance from Braddell MRT station. Since Wei Sze had to leave for her lunch appointment with another friend, Stefanie and I decided to have lunch at school first before going on our adventure to Sapura's service center. Unlike yours truly, Stefanie has a superb sense of direction and she knows most of SP now. We got the legendary fruit juice from FC 3. 

When we finally made it to the service center, the technicians found no fault with my Mac. Strangely enough, there was still a 'clicking' sound when I opened it. When they tried it on another Mac, it fitted seamlessly. I nearly banged my head against the table in frustration. 

We then went back to Tampines where Stefanie collected her case from Punk Star - the one I very nearly bought. I didn't know they were having a sale. Maybe I could buy a few tees over there if they have my size. We did a lot of walking in just one day and I was exhausted when I got back. This just goes to show how much my stamina has suffered after not running for months. 

Our classes were announced yesterday too. I must be a really lucky girl. Not only did I get Shaw Leong who's from Masquerade in my class, I got Zhaoyi and Stefanie too! I've not met Yvette in person but she seems really friendly. That's four classmates already. I can't wait for FOP!

CASS FOC was awesome!

It was kind of nerve-wrecking at the start since I didn't know a single soul over there. I quickly made friends though and my group was friendly. Most of the people were from DMC or DADP, few were from the same course as me. I found another DTVM person from my group, Masquerade, though. And that's Shaw Leong who was really quiet at first but he warmed up to us afterwards. Hopefully, he'll be my classmate, then I'd have a familiar face to turn to during FOC.

Before going for the camp, when people from SP know I'm in CASS, they'll go, 'Ah, the crazy school'. I think I know why now. The people there are so spontaneous and fun! It's nearly like an extension of Crescent, just ten times more the freedom and liveliness! There are nearly twice more girls than guys so according to Tryne and Sheena, the two seniors who live in the extreme east too, our school is sometimes nicknamed the 'Er Mei Shan'. I later realised that it's the name of a place for nuns or something like that. Funnily, our school is also situated at the top of a hill, although it certainly seems to be a mountain when you climb it. The other nickname is 'Beverly Hills'. That sounds so glamourous.

We first got into our groups and chose our group name. The theme this year was 'Circus' and we went with Wee's suggestion and called ourselves 'Masquerade'. Our flag was the prettiest even if we took the longest to finish it (well, it is the prettiest in my opinion) thanks to Syuhaidah who helped to design and draw the eyes and mask. Every group has a flag and all of us must guard the flag for should any flag get stolen by anyone, the whole group has to do a forfeit just to get it back. In short, the flag was very important. But we lost it on the last day of the camp. It just vanished into thin air.

Dexter also gave us our group identity, the red shoelace. All of us tied it around our wrists. Some groups had really eye-catching ones like the big sequined ribbons or the angel wings. Jaime also pretended to be a freshie when she was actually the GL along with Dexter. She kind of exposed herself by accident when we were supposed to guess who was the fake freshie in the beginning.

We played ice-breaker games and learnt the cheers we would be doing for the next two days. The forfeits are really funny. The 'Fruit Dance' is just sick yet funny. Unfortunately, Melissa and I couldn't play the game at the swimming pool. We just sat with Tryne and Sheena from DMC while the rest got wet at the pool. Oh well. We did get wet during the next game though. Except that it's toilet water instead of flourine this time. My favourite game for the first day was the Watermelon Game. We had to finish two halves of a watermelon with the skin intact with just our mouths. Wee was the fastest watermelon-eater I think. Everyone tore off chunks of the watermelon with their mouths.

The first day ended with the Night Walk. We went over to Food Court 1. it was a good fifteen to twenty minutes brisk walk to the other side in the night. It was a little past midnight when we reached our destination and the DMIT people were already there. They were plaguing us with all sorts of horror stories about SP (Sheena and Tryne later told us that the stories were fake and they'll tell us the true ones in Year 2). Everyone had to go in pairs and it took a long time to wait for my turn. I was the last one to go from Masquerade - one of the last few girls left in the auditorium in fact. It was a different kind of torture waiting for my turn. They ran out of stories and jokes to tell and our GLs even danced the 'Peacock' dance for us to pass the time. There are only so many times you can repeat 'this is a magical box' however. I lost count of the number of times we did that but the line was drilled into my head afterwards.

I was initially hoping for a guy to be my partner since guys are supposedly braver. But my partner was so brave! Before she introduced herself, I'd already latched myself firmly onto her arm. Yes, I was that frightened. Funnily, we were directed to the wrong route altogether. I told the DMIT guy at the door that we were from CASS but he asked us to follow the yellow lightsticks outside. We were left floundering at some carpark compound after passing just two yellow lightsticks. There were none left afterwards. There were another two girls who were lost just like us too. We just decided to walk back to CASS then. We were wondering if there were any scary things that would pop up during the whole walk but nothing happened. Luckily we found the rest station in the middle with our seniors waiting there. After going to the restroom and explaining our situation, we had to complete the remaining one-third of the Night Walk. This time it was the correct route.

Vanessa, my partner, was not afraid by then and she really helped to ease my fears. I was just cowering behind her half the time while she led me around the dark corridors and warned me about the steps. I think I was just hugging her arm really tight to me. We made it back to CASS soon enough but not before I tripped over the stairs in my hurry. It was nearly 3am when we reached CASS and we waited about an hour more for the GLs and the remaining pairs who were returning from the Night Walk.

Despite sleeping at 4am, I woke up several times and finally went to shower after the nth time in a zombie-fied state. Breakfast was bread with Nutella! It was delicious - partly because I slathered the Nutella spread on my piece of bread rather generously. We used plastic spoons instead of a butter knife. Bo Mun also joined us for breakfast. He became the Masquerade's last team member.

We had Scavengers' Hunt on the second day. Our first stop was the 'Stone Cold Kenneth' as they call him. It was a little demoralising since our group failed to make Kenneth and Inez laugh. I later heard most groups couldn't do it too. The seniors are just too good at keeping their poker face.

Our team managed to beat our opponents for Tug 'O' War and it was fun albeit a little sore for my hands. There was also this game which was similar to 'Tag' just that we had to defend our flag in three rows. Come to think of it, it was more similar to Foosball if you look at the layout. Human Foosball. It was a draw for that game. No one got any flag.

I can't really remember the sequence but we had to move on to quite a few stations each time. We also played crazy games like Captain's Ball with tomato, soap and then later butter. Our team didn't manage to advance to the final round which turned out to be quite a good thing since I don't think I'd appreciate playing with melting butter slithering down my hands or hair as I play. Unfortunately, Syuhaidah hurt her ankle while at the basketball court. There was no medic at the scene so we were really worried that it was a serious injury. Our team had to leave her behind to go on to the next station. She later joined us a few hours later when she was able to walk properly again. Thank goodness she didn't sprain her ankle.

There was also this game where we had to spin 20 times and then high five our partner within three seconds, then run to the goal post to complete the game. I was quite pathetic and fell down to the grass with a 'thud' after just fifteen rounds. The GP was kind enough to let me spin just fifteen times, otherwise I might have not been able to stand.

We also danced outside the glass window at the gym. We had two choices: To stick our finger up our friends' nostrils; Or to dance that provocative dance in full view of the guys in the gym. Nearly everyone, with the exception of Rachel, picked the latter. The guys crowded in front of us while we were dancing and one even pounded the window. I think they were kind of annoyed by us.

It was campfire night afterwards. Instead of the usual bonfire, they actually arranged little candles in form of 'CASS' with a big circle around it. It looked so cosy and heartwarming. We did the usual campfire songs and cheers plus the 'Friendship Dance'. I nearly lost my voice while cheering. Then came the night party!

We started the party after midnight and it ended in the morning, around 3 or 4am? I can't actually dance but I tried to. It was really fun dancing with everyone although I went to the side to rest every once in a while. Somehow you get really dehydrated while dancing. Maybe that's why people drink so much when they dance in clubs and all.

I slept better after the party maybe because I was just exhausted. I still managed to wake up early to shower. I'd feel strange not showering in the morning. The GLs were slightly late for breakfast while the campers were all up on time. We then had Telematch after breakfast. This must be the craziest and the most fun telematch I've participated in! Even though the sun was scorching hot, everyone got really wet and powder-y since the GLs later had fun pouring baby powder over everyone's heads.

Everyone had to go after a quick shower and a debrief. Sebas cried after watching the video of the past two and a half days. I felt a little sad too, since the camp was such great fun. We all had some time with our GLs before taking pictures in our new campers' tees.

I had bad experiences from camps before but this is my best camp yet. It could be because of the people and the crazy games our seniors organised for us. I could see that the seniors put it a lot of effort in making this camp an awesome one. In fact, even at wee hours of the night, Dexter and Jaime were still bursting with energy just to keep our spirits high. It'll be cool to be able to take part in another camp again, I think. I doubt there will be one any time soon now that school is starting though.

Masquerades, OO-AA!

With the enrolment process fully completed, I went to my school for the first time yesterday. I got my Mac which I'd be using for my lessons once school starts. The school is ginormous! Well, at least it is to me. I didn't walk around the campus and only went to the PC Roadshow at the Convention Centre and the place for the configuration. It seemed so big to me and I could just spot a McDonald's outlet just a stone's throw away from the entrance. 

I feel quite apologetic to my mum about choosing this course sometimes. I was not aware that I would require a Mac for my course before choosing and now, we have to pay for yet another PC. It doesn't help that I had to get a tablet PC for my Secondary school previously. Imagine the amount of money spent just on my education.

We also went to get insoles for my flat feet. It cost a hefty sum of $395.90. It is such a pity that I didn't get the insoles when I was younger. I did ask my doctor about my flat feet but he said it was normal and actually recommended surgery! Thank goodness I didn't agree to the surgery since according to the staff manning the counter yesterday, surgery would only worsen the condition and bring greater pain and stress to the feet. You can say surgery is only a short-term solution. I've been getting bad backaches and pains in my calves and knees. Turns out that it is due to my flat feet. Unfortunately, chances of getting them corrected permanently are not guaranteed, since I'm sort of nearing the end of puberty and the growing stage I guess. 

Right now, I wish to get my pay tomorrow so that I can pay for part of the price of the computer we bought yesterday. I'm feeling so bad that my mum has to spend so much just on me alone. Hopefully, they will be able to hand me the cheque by tomorrow - they've been delaying it for weeks! 

It's my maternal grandpa's death anniversary today. I've not accompanied my mum and relatives to pay my respects at the crematorium for many years now. I was thinking of going today since I've not been there for so long. I'm staying at home instead however, since I'm not feeling well.

My grandpa is someone I only have a vague idea of. I don't even have any memory of him and I'd only seen him in my grandparents' wedding photo. Even then, I can't remember how he looks like. I didn't cherish the last chance I had to take a look at their wedding photo and I was just seven then, being more interested in toys than a black-and-white print which was so worn with age. I only have the faint impression that my grandpa was quite a looker and my grandma did not lose out in terms of beauty too.

My grandpa passed away due to lung cancer when I was just two. My mum told me that I allowed my grandpa to carry me in his arms when I was just a baby. That was a huge feat, I must say. As an infant, I was grumpy and refused to be carried by anyone except my mum and my grandparents. Even my dad was afraid to carry me, for I would wail my lungs out if he tried to do so - even if he is my dad. I guess I was quite a fussy child.

Grandpa smoked like a chimney, according to my mum. It's a habit my uncles picked up from him too, although strangely, none of my cousins are smokers. Maybe it's because they have suffered the full brunt of their fathers' smoking habits. It was most probably due to the excessive number of cigarettes he smoked each day that led to lung cancer. It was impossible for my grandpa to stop his addiction, just like my uncles. They were too far gone.

My grandpa was not a perfect husband, neither was he a flawless father from what I know. I won't be 'washing my dirty linen in public', but at the very least, according to my mum, he seemed to be a wonderful grandpa. Perhaps it had to do with my mum being my grandparents' favourite along with my sixth aunt who is the youngest. Well, my mum is the tenth child while my sixth aunt is the eleventh. Naturally, my grandparents loved me too. Well, at least that was what I heard.

On the other hand, I do have memories of my grandma. I know she loved me dearly and looked at me fondly each time I visited her each Sunday. Unlike most of my cousins, I absolutely enjoyed eating the desserts and snacks she made in the afternoon. Amongst my favourites are the ang ku kueh and the dumplings. I remember once or twice, I sat next to her on her red mattress bed while she took out various trinkets she owned and little treats she bought from the market nearby. I can't remember other cousins ever getting the chance to look through her treasures, but my mum said they were uninterested and preferred to watch cartoons or to play with the toy cars in the opposite room. Maybe it was for this reason that my grandma paid special attention to me, since I liked to eat the kueh she made and was generally a quiet child who was fascinated by her collection. It also helped that I was much better behaved as compared to other cousins my age who often fought over the toys. Grandma would chase the boys around with her legendary feather duster threateningly. She never scolded me though, and I doubt I ever gave her a reason to do so.

It's a pity I never really spoke much to grandma because we had a language barrier. She only knew Hokkien, Teochew, and a smattering of Mandarin. I guess my grandma and I communicate mostly with sign language and my pathetically limited Hokkien. But it seemed enough for her to understand me and vice versa.

I've long since outgrown the dresses she bought for me when I was much smaller. The bracelets and bags she bought for me are also really old and they have been passed on to someone else, I think. But the only memories I have of my grandparents would only be of my grandma unfortunately. I've never gotten the chance to know my paternal grandparents. Nonetheless, it feels good to know that I was adored by my Ah Gong and Ah Ma when I was just a little kid.