If only I can focus just on my Chinese language instead of needing to study for my MYEs too...

On a lighter note, I passed my Chinese Oral!!! I almost thought I'd failed because I guessed so many words in the reading passage and my conversation component was really lacking since I didn't really know what points to say... Ah well. The best news to me about this oral exam however, was that I scored a good 9/10 for my reading. Which is just unbelievable, because I'm well-known to be atrocious in speaking Mandarin. Maybe it's because the teacher said I had good expression. Heh. Ah, if only O'levels would be this smooth-sailing...

English language oral examination was not for my mid-year results however - the result will be taken and added directly to my preliminary exam results. Given that I didn't really practise or prepare, I thought I did alright. It was a waste that I stuttered during the reading part and I *gasps* interpreted the picture wrongly! I wonder if they will penalize you for that...

Conversation went rather well actually,

My second question was

Actually, I think I could have said more and answered better for the other two questions. But alas, because I was overly concerned and nervous about my answers, I didn't really expand or elaborate much on my views. Which is a great pity. I hope I will still be able to do well, despite all the mistakes I made.

Alright then, I shall sign off here to get back to studying!~

Fighting!

Somehow, I feel that time is trickling by way too fast for me. Before I know it, I'm already drowning in mock examinations, class tests, timed trials, pop quizzes and the Mid-year examinations which is looming over my head like a blade ready to slice through my thick neck.

Why is it that they praise our education so when the students don't seem to have any time to breathe? I sometimes wonder that. I do cherish the fact that I get the chance to have a proper education, in a nice and clean environment with good facilities and such. But I guess all things come with a price. I feel like I have lost all my dreams and cheeriness to school sometimes.

Most adults work a nine to five job. Most students study from seven to five. Not to forget the workload students bring home is comparable to most adults. In the end, the worries about unpaid bills and grown-up stuff is nearly comparable with the stress lots of students face with their academic pursuits and peer pressure. Not to mention the expectations and competition they must consistently tackle. And the equally late nights and even earlier alarms which results in more sleep deprivation in students today as compared to adults.

In fact, I rarely hear adults saying that we students have it good anymore. Instead, they tell us that we have a hard life and sympathise with us, never failing to mention that in their time, it was so much more easier and going to school actually seemed to be a likeable prospect - something almost impossible to comprehend by many students.

See the difference?

It's true that you can't have the cake and eat it.

The person I've become. What would those I'd previously known say if they see how I am now?

Sometimes, I feel that my childhood had been much shorter than my peers, because of the various events that took place within such a short period of time. I found myself maturing far more quickly that my classmates then. I grew independent. Yet lonely at the same time.

My fifth birthday wish was impossible to come true: I wanted an older brother. At that time, I still didn't have my 'bird and bees' talk and thought that a family could pre-order their children. Well, but of course I got distracted by my first pink bicycle which I got for my birthday instead. How easily children are satisfied.

Maybe it is indeed better for one to be the only child. After all, a sibling would steal your parent's attention and affection. Or parents would make comparisons between the siblings. That would be awful, I agree.

Somehow, the wish to have an older sibling has disappeared. But just sometimes, a small part of me wishes that my mum would be happier. I realise it's almost impossible to be happy with the job she has. That aside, I sometimes wished she has more friends to support her. She has given up so much for me. How great an unconditional love is - especially a mother's.


A chapter of my life has come to a small ending - I will need to focus on my major examinations now. My last choir performance was Speech day. Even though we sped up, we did well I guess. My beloved juniors prepared so much for our batch that I was too surprised and touched to say much in person.

I will miss choir so much. I wonder how it will be not to practise or perform for the months ahead. Some say they live to eat. Well, I live to perform. One of the times I feel the happiest would be when I'm preparing tirelessly for an upcoming performance and another would be when I finally get out there onstage and show what I'd worked so hard for, and to be under the limelight, receiving every one's encouragement. I really do love performing. Not being able to perform makes me feel helpless and stifled. I wonder what my future career would be. Of course, my dream is to be an artiste, or a performer. But it's kind of difficult. Plus, this country's entertainment industry is really small. There isn't even much of a market to start with.

I feel helpless.

I'm tired of it all.
I wonder when I will be able to escape from these shadows.
I wish it will stop hurting.



.

I’ve been feeling quite moody for the past few days. It is true that it’s partly because I’m sick and currently am only able of croaking or sounding like a guy at my best.

This is the first time I could not cheer for Keller or anyone during the Sports Carnival. And to think this will be my last Sports Carnival. It was quite boring at some parts but everyone was especially excited during the Staff Relay. I never knew Mr Chng and Ms Loo could sprint so fast! As for Mr Tan, he didn’t let Keller down and his sprint impressed many people. Well, for someone who participates in marathons each year, it’s not really that surprising. Unfortunately, even though the three teachers were really fast and helped Keller to be the first for that race, we are still the last house. Keller has never won anyway.

This week seemed to jolt me back to my past though. I met Hui Xuan’s mother while on the MRT train on Tuesday. It was really awkward to answer her questions about me however – I found the questions a little too personal. I felt a little bad for not telling her the full picture of what happened to my family and other things. But that feeling disappeared after her questions turned really personal and she started to give me advice which I do not actually need. I don’t know why but I get a little apprehensive and uncomfortable when she started advising me about my family matters. I mean, she doesn’t know the full picture so I don’t think it is right to assume what had happened. But, I’m sorry, auntie, that I just told half-truths and didn’t want to answer your questions directly. If only I didn’t tell her my name, things would have been better. She didn’t recognize me at first and said that I have changed a lot in terms of appearances.

Monday’s train journey back was one that shocked me the most though. I thought I saw someone important who I haven’t spoken to since January last year. That person had been a confidante. Till now, I still don’t know if I had offended that person but it definitely is sad that we don’t talk to each other anymore. I tried to ask if I really did see the person on the train the day after but as usual, there wasn’t a definite answer. But I’m sure I didn't recognise wrongly this time. How and why did we drift apart again? I used to hope that I can forget.

"Do you think we will still keep in touch with each other years later?"
"Hey, if you have a girlfriend one day, will you still call me?"

We are still masters of our fate.
We are still captains of our souls.
-Winston Churchill

Warning: Kpop mentioned in post.

I feel a little guilty for neglecting to update this blog as frequently as I used to. Homework, assignments, projects, mock examinations and timed trials are taking their toll on me though.

The Singapore Entertainment Awards event was fun.

I was browsing through the shops in Raffles City shopping mall before meeting Rosi for dinner. Somehow or rather, I managed to get mistaken for a tourist again. A girl near my age spoke to me in Korean and English. I was in Papermarket and there was this container full of cute pencils, and I automatically held one up and debated whether I should buy it as a gift or for myself. Suddenly the girl popped up on my right and immediately took another pencil of a similar design and stated, "Pencil." and smiled widely at me. I honestly did not know how I should react and just smiled and nodded at her. That action alone seemed to get her even more excited and after I placed back a sharpener I have been holding onto the shelf, she picked it up and stated, "Pencil sharpener!". I then wondered if she was a tourist. In the end she started to speak to me in Korean. Once she realise I didn't understand a single bit of the one-sided dialogue though, she walked back to her group of friends in one corner of the shop with a disappointed look. Throughout the whole scene, I could not think of anything to say at all. It was just too surprising.

When I went into That CD Shop, one sales assistant could not stop recommending albums for me to buy. It was really amusing. I made it clear to her the first time she asked that I was only browsing through and do not intend to buy anything from the shop. But she did not give up and continued suggesting CDs to me and after a while she decided to pester a few tourists instead. I felt a little bad for the lady beside me who was ignored by the girl the whole time. She wasn't a tourist. Then again, does it really matter if the customer is a local?

I found people glancing at me in the shopping mall too. Maybe the sight of a girl shopping alone seemed odd to them. Or maybe it was because I was just walking around the whole mall. Seeing Winny at the entrance while waiting for Rosi at six in the evening was surprising - I didn't expect to see anyone familiar.

Dinner with Rosi and Yitong at Shokudo was really good. My plate of cold noodles were tasty albeit a tad too filling. We then met Sarah, Jia Wen and her family afterwards. Our group walked a the way to the Marina Floating Platform. We nearly went in the wrong direction if not for the large crowd walking to the venue - they were also going for the event.

We managed to find our seats without too much difficulty and had a mini photo snapping session of each other. Everyone went wild when SHINee made their entrance. In fact, I realised that a good half of the audience were Shawols. The girl sitting in front of me had a SHINee light stick.

All the artistes performed well although 小鬼's voice sounded a little hoarse - I suspect he was sick. When SHINee performed, the crowd went absolutely wild. Everyone either stood on their seats or rushed forward to the barricades. And the screaming was a huge indication of the number of Shawols present. Even the emcees were surprised.

Of course, SHINee didn't disappoint and pulled off a great stage performance. However, once they left the stage, people started to leave, even though the singer, Eason Chen, was still performing on stage after SHINee. It was a little awkward and I felt a little sorry for the poor singer on stage even though I never really knew how to appreciate his songs. Sometimes, fans can be insensitive unknowingly.

I met my mum after the event and unfortunately, we could not catch the last train home. We had no choice but to try for a taxi which took ages to come because everyone was queuing up for taxis too.

These days school life has been pretty exhausting. I can't wait to step down because it's getting more difficult to manage all three leadership positions in one go, with my studies included. Hopefully, I will be able to focus more on my academics when I let go two of my leadership positions. I am getting a little worried about choir though - the seniors are not doing as well as they should. I'm just praying that they will be able to guide the juniors when the time comes.

I have way too much to post about, but too little time to note every detail.

Directly after my last paper ended, we had a little break before setting off for our Learning Journey field trip to the Singapore Discovery Centre. I managed to play a bit of Foosball - wonder who made that orange newspaper ball.

After setting off for the place, I got a little groggy on the bus, but no, I did not puke. I think I'm getting better at controlling my headache and pains nowadays. Who knows, maybe I will not even have the problem of motion sickness in the future (is there a cure for it anyway?)

The trip was fairly interesting. They gave us a talk in an auditorium and showed us a video which revealed some gruesome acts committed during war. There was also another video showing a little of how NS life is like for the boys in their first three months. I have always been grateful that the boys are serving the nation through their national service but after watching the videos, I think my admiration just increased.

Right after the talk, they let us taste a bit of the standard Army rations and let us hold the two rifles placed on the table in front. I now know that holding a rifle is definitely no joke - not when it weighs a tiring five kilogrammes...just how do the guys carry it while they run in their trainings? Oh and I really like the biscuits and the rice dumpling!

We had lunch after that but I was really full from eating the biscuits. Somehow the biscuits were really filling. I shouldn't have eaten the biscuits though because I could have bought the pizza in the cafeteria. I remember buying the pizza from the cafeteria over there a few years back and it was delicious. Ah well. Angela didn't eat much too. I was trying to find a water cooler in that place, but to no avail,

"Hey, have you seen any water coolers anywhere?"
"Have. There!" *Points to the water fountain thing in the middle of the pond/lake/water body outside*
How typical of Yimin to be so smart.

Our SAFTI tour then started. Charmaine TTT helped me take a few photos from her side of the bus. While we were walking to the tower, I spotted this little scooter which had a basket in the front! And there was this rear mirror in the plastic cover of a 'Victory' sign hand. It was super cute! Rosi and I went back to take a picture with it afterwards.

Despite having gone to SDC thrice before, I have never gone up the tower - the previous three times always ended with heavy rain and the guide never let us out of the bus because of the bad weather, so I'd always settled for staring at the tower from a distance. Finally, I got to go up the tower and the view is magnificent, although the height is a little scary when you look down. I think my mum would be freaking out if she went up. When we went down, everyone in the lift greeted the two guys waiting outside with a "Good afternoon, sirs!"
I think they were really amused by us. We also took a class photo at the grassy slope at the bottom of the tower.

We then went to the Army museum. Where everyone took lots of photos. But because the guide moved too fast and didn't really give us much time to take them, I took more photos of people and plants than artifacts.

After the trip I fell asleep on the bus and woke up with an ache in my neck. Somehow I felt really tired.

Right after that day, we had our "I Am Gifted, and So Are You!" programme in school. It starts at 8am and ends at 9pm. When I first got to know the schedule, the first thing which entered my mind was: Wow, are we able to camp in school secretly instead so that we can get more sleep?
But yes, the programme was fun. There was a session whereby the trainers listed scenarios which made us question ourselves about how much have we done for our parents despite their unconditional love. Everyone cried really hard. I started crying way before that though. Somehow, when I watched the video of this guy who remained really positive despite having no legs, I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. The rest of the night was spent with our eyes red and tired from all the crying.

And thanks to Jolene's dad, I got to arrive home on both nights in less than an hour. Because she lives in Simei, her dad was really nice to let me take a lift from them. Thanks!
On the last day there was also the Parents' Seminar where most of our parents came and learnt a portion of what we did from the programme. I think I was the only one who didn't cry when I spoke in front of the whole crowd to my mum. Maybe it's because both of us are close, I guess. I thought I would've cried too, but somehow I managed not too. And I actually needed the toilet, but was afraid to leave the place because the atmosphere was really sombre. Ah well.

My guitar teacher just gave us the song Mary Had a Little Lamb and wants us to finish re-arranging the piece by the next lesson. But he spelt the title wrongly: Merry Had a Little Lamb. Well, Merry sure is a nice name anyway. I'm sure it is a cheerful name. Anyway, I really ought to start on the task!

Will be on an indefinite hiatus till 13 March comes.
Till then.

P.S.: I just might post something before then if I feel like it and have the time to.
So, check for updates if you're free too.
^^

While playing Jenga with my cousins this afternoon, I suddenly realised how much we have grown.
The memory of playing Lego with them was playing through my mind while playing Jenga. I didn't tell them though, since they will most probably find me cheesy.

I suddenly recalled the Sunday visits after my art lessons when my maternal grandma was still around. Her ang ku kuehs were really great. Each Sunday, I would play Lego with Dennis and Gee Tat. Ivan didn't really play with us much - Gee Tat didn't allow him to play sometimes and I think Ivan would cry if I can remember it right. We were really childish. Actually, the ones who actually played with the Lego bricks were Dennis and me. Gee Tat just preferred to destroy anything and throw his toys around the room. Maybe it's because Gee Tat was so rough when playing Jenga today even though the rest of us were kind of into the game so it reminded me of those days, back when I didn't even need to look up to talk to them.

Funny how it hit me that the three of us used to be so close and have become so distant. Does this happen to other people as well? Or maybe it saddens me more since my relatives on my mother's side are the only relatives I know. It seems that I can only talk to Ivan or Dennis freely now while there's this awkwardness with the rest, strangely.

This Chinese New Year has been really fun - and it's really a great break from all the insane homework and stifling studying. Of course, I don't miss school at all. :D
On Saturday, we went to Dennis' house for dinner. My uncle just painted his house in a new colour so maybe that's why he invited all of us to his house for dinner this year - we usually go to Yu Sheng's place for reunion dinner. Dinner was good but my mum kept pressing me to eat faster since we took turns to eat at the table. I didn't really know how to talk to my cousins initially because I felt kind of awkward and I was one of the earliest. But afterwards it got better gradually and Dennis and I just chatted while watching the television. Ivan and Gee Tat came much later and we watched some parodies on Youtube. Yu Sheng kept sneaking into one of the rooms and wore (if I'm guessed right,) Raymond's motorbike helmet on his head. That boy is still as weird and hyperactive as ever. Oh, and Dennis showed me what he did for his art exam last year. His peacock logo looks really cool! He drew a rough draft for me before showing me the actual thing, which is just a piece of cake for him, considering that he has drawn the same thing for at least a hundred times. And Dennis also taught me how to create the hidden words thingy which is just really cool yet simple when you know how to do it.

Chinese New Year was spent at Gee Tat's house as usual. I decided to wear the dress I wore to SHINee's fansign since the dress I bought for CNY suddenly seemed far too short. I didn't do much there since the boys were so absorbed in playing Halo. I did try to amuse myself with watching Hello Baby on Youtube but it took such a long time to load so I gave up after a while. Poor Ivan lost to Dennis and Gee Tat in Halo. But Ivan did manage to reach his target score so I guess it's alright. Good job, Ivan! Dennis and Gee Tat got many kills, depending on the weapons available. Jeremy kept telling any of the aunts or uncles who went into the room that they raised the average age in the room - He still believes that he is eighteen. Sheree, Kelvin and Jeremy just stayed at the side, chatting about university life and Jason was just asleep at a corner. Dinner was alright but somehow some things were not fully cooked in the steamboat.

Today was spent at Ivan's house. I forgot to bring my belt and my shorts kept slipping so I had to sit with my back to the cupboard in the room in case anyone sees anything they are not suppose to. How strategic.

I was a little bored in the beginning because the rest took a long time to come. Yu Sheng wasn't really a good person to play with since he was more interested in
a) insulting others
b) pigging on the CNY goodies and drinks
c) being dirty-minded
d) standing on Ivan's bed
I watched Ivan play that Rabbid game and when Dennis arrived the four of us took turns to play some of the mini games. Dennis. Has. Scary. Memory. Skills. The rest of our scores are way below his. Ivan later played the food drawing game. I must say that I don't draw fantastically with the mouse and the humongous size of it sure didn't help me. But I didn't get the lowest score, considering that our Yu Sheng somehow could get a wondrous zero. While I was watching them play the chorister-slapping game, I sure am glad that no one slaps me each time I get a note wrong.

Afterwards we played Jenga! It was really fun and yours truly did fairly well. Alas, my luck was down for Reversi today. I really need to brush up on my Reversi skills - haven't played since December. Beware, everyone! I am going to start pestering people online for a game of Reversi once more! Oh and like every year, the food at Ivan's house is great. And for dinner I ate my aunt's vegetarian fried rice which tastes just as awesome too. Wonder who brought the sushi...I love the sushi.

4G1 won!!!!! I was just so happy on Friday. In fact I think I'm way too proud of our class. I even showed my cousins our class decorations and they were like 'woah!'. I love you 4G1!!!

And newsflash: Our dearest girl who is blogging now hasn't even completed half of her homework. I guess it's back to 'chiong-ing' again. Give me back my break!

SHINee's fansign session today was flooded with lots and lots of SG fans.

I did know about the large number of people intending to come - there are also lots of SG Shawols on SFI ( me included). However, I didn't know how fast they are.

Jia Wen and I went to Charmaine's house with Yitong and Charmaine after meeting at Yew Tee at 9pm. Since Rosi was quite late, she came later. Charmaine showed us the dresses she bought and a few are really pretty. When we went to Yitong's house, everyone tried to do homework, but Rosi and I failed pathetically since we were far too excited about SHINee to actually make any sense of our homework. I took a good part of seven minutes just to answer a simple math question mostly because I was spazzing about SHINee with Rosi. Yitong was searching online for Korean phrases but we were not sure if they were accurate enough.

Afterwards, we decided to sleep at around midnight. I couldn't fall asleep though - I was just too excited. Then at around 1am, we received a call from Dao Xin saying that there were already 500 plus people queueing at Lot1. Everyone started panicking and rushed to change and got out of the house. We then took a taxi to Lot 1 and ran to the building instead of waiting for the night express bus.

It is true that there were a lot of people by the time we arrived. Thank goodness there were some really good fans who decided to issue queue numbers by name instead of letting us queue just like that. Their idea worked and lots who wanted to cut the queue got pushed to the back afterwards as the organisers decided to use their idea.

When I got my scratchcard, my world kind of went still. My heart felt really cold at that moment. Although I love every SHINee member, somehow, from the day I saw Key, he has been the special favourite. When I got Minho, I suddenly felt this despair as I couldn't get Key's autograph. Thus started the search for Key's scratchcard. Some girl then came and snatched Minho's scratchcard out of my hand and pushed Taemin's to me and just ran off. I was just shocked. By then tears were threatening to fall.

When two girls asked me separately afterwards for Minho's scratchcard and wanted to give me Key's in exchange, my tears just fell. Lots of people were fighting for Key. And those who had Minho got his immediately, while I still had Taemin. So with tears streaming down my face (loads of people kept staring at me), when Rosi finally found this Korean lady who wanted Taemin and had Key, I really cried hard - out of sheer happiness this time. The lady was really nice! She wiped off the tears off my face with her fingers and hugged me. Till now, I'm really grateful to her, otherwise I think I might have cried while staring at Key during the fansign.

And when SHINee finally came, I cried again. It seems so surreal - even till now. They are finally here! I can see them in real life! After being so crazy over them since their debut...It was really awesome!
I queued with this girl who had her hair cut and dyed like Key's to get Key's signature.
Key. He looks really good in real life. And it is most likely that his smile can light up many thousand-watt bulbs along Orchard Road during Christmas, melt the whole Antarctic. I felt like I was flying with cherubims in the air when he smiled at me so warmly.
Somehow, my confession just spilled out of my mouth when he was signing the album, "Saranghaeyo oppa!".
Ah well. And he looked up smiling and said 'Oh!'.
All of the fans had to leave right after getting album signed though.

This will be my last post for 2009.

For the year 2009, here are my accomplishments.

I finally pierced my ears.
I still stayed true to my tradition of visiting the zoo at least once every
two years.
I shopped for the first time in People's Park in Chinatown.
My singing has improved. Although I still need much more to sing
well.
First official class gathering with Ms Chee showed me Amanda's prowess
as a Mahjong player. I also tried my best to learn the game.
I managed to grow one centimetre.
I actually got a Silver instead of my usual Bronze for NAPFA.
For the first time, I entered a Karaoke lounge and had a Karaoke session
with great friends.
I became a Treasurer and a Vice President.
I became a Chairperson.

Most of all, I survived Secondary Three school life. Around the same period last year, I told someone that I had doubts about being able to manage my Secondary Three life. The person replied that I would be okay and not to worry. I did make it but somehow the feeling of moving on to another level and tackling the major examinations has not hit me yet. Maybe that feeling will strike me when it reaches midnight. Oh joy.

Here's to 2010,

I will aim to try my very best to stay awake in class.
(I did put this as my 2009 resolution but gave up after two weeks. So I
added in the word 'try')
I will study and work hard for O' Levels.
I will improve further on my singing.
I will be more patient and tactful to others.
I will be more loving to my dearest mum. I know I can be quite stubborn and
horrid at times.
I will do my best to be a better leader to my peers and actually be a good
role model for the others.
I also want to love myself more and slim down. (the slim down part
never comes true.)

In short, I want to be a better, nicer person especially to my beloved mother and my friends.

My mum loves her Christmas card. :D

I spent around four hours on it. Quite a lot of ink was wasted on printing the photos. But I spent the most time on the Christmas tree on the card. It was worth it.

Yesterday's trip to Chinatown ended with me buying a cap, and four outfits imported from Korea. Somehow, most of the shops there have the Korean brand Knit & Co. clothes. My mum and I went with Aunt Siew Lan, an ex-colleague of my mum. Aunt Siew Lan's bargaining skills and long-term visits to the shops managed to get us some pretty good deals. We got around 20% off for most of the things we bought. My mum bought a new bag too.
AND, I GOT MY PAGEBOY CAP. It's a little like a beanie from the back though.

This Christmas, my mum got me plenty of gifts: a set of Button Headphones, the pageboy cap, three pairs of ear studs. Bliss.

Juniper invited me to a Christmas party. I was really lucky to have April with me on Tuesday. Although Juniper did mention to alight once I see an ESSO station and the big cross outside her church, I didn't notice both things when on the bus. Only April did.While we were walking up some slope to the venue, there was this loud bang from the highway behind us. It was kind of scary - I thought it was some explosion. Well, it did sound like those sound effects used in action movies.

When we first entered the room, it was really awkward. Luckily, Juniper's church friend, Priscilla, is a really friendly person. Priscilla helped to introduce us to quite a few of the people there. I really thought Julia was her real sister till Julia told me otherwise. The party was really enjoyable, partly because of the people there. They were really friendly and fun. Foosball was also pretty funny. It was my first time and I managed to do fairly well. Or maybe it was because I teamed up with Mervin and he's pretty good so I didn't look too bad on my side too. Haha. Before we left, we played Taboo with a few people though we had to leave after the first round.

Being with Juniper's church friends reminded me a lot of the times I spent with the CF people during my Primary school days. Thinking about it, I was with CF for near four to five years. I joined Christian Fellowship when I was in Primary two. They were promoting it during afternoon assembly and gave out leaflets to interested parties afterwards. Usually I was painfully shy and wouldn't dare to go forward. Somehow, I just went ahead and attended their first session. And somehow it became my CCA since then. It was also one of the reasons why I didn't join choir in Primary school, since I already had CF and I was really scared of Mrs Simon.





I used to envy those from families with a strong Christian upbringing, or at least there's a religion. All my relatives have different religions - Taoists, Buddhists, Muslims. None of them are Christians though. Aunt Irene seemed quite disappointed that I didn't get baptised. Many found it strange too. The first song I learnt was a Christian song (something about elephants and butterflies) and not a nursery rhyme. I attended the follow-up programme in my Primary school. I still remember the kind lady who gave us sweets every week and we had prayer sessions. CF was also really fun, the worship, games and bible quizzes. I still pray. But somehow going to church seems to be a different matter. A teensy bit intimidating. And if I just went to church because so many people wanted me to, then it's not really a good reason at that point of time when I was still in my previous school. To me, at least.

'Tis strange how I wake up in the mornings and tell myself that I must do my best to finish a portion of my homework, only to find myself on Facebook a few hours later. If I'm not on Facebook, I will be on mysoju, watching drama shows. Call it a lack of willpower, or just an easily distracted child.

The situation gets worse when my mum works from home. There's just something in me, that tries to pester another person in the vicinity if I'm doing my work at home. Maybe that's why I prefer to work alone.

Quite a few people gone for their Primary school reunions this week. What my mum said actually came true after all. When I go for my reunions in time to come, I will increasingly regret not being as close to my ex-classmates as I wish I had. I wasn't as crazy and sociable in Primary school. That was also one of the reasons why I changed my first choice to my current school on the last day of submission for the choosing of schools. I hoped that I would be able to change myself by going to a school where I didn't know anyone. Well, Jolene went to the same school and we have been classmates since...I can't remember when. How many donkey years have we been in the same class, Jo? Anyway, I did manage to change myself. I became spontaneous, friendlier, and funny. But when I go for these reunions, my character turns back to how I was years ago. Funny, isn't it? To my ex-classmates, I may always be the strange, weird kid, who never really talks.


On the other hand, it is true that I take quite some time to warm up to people. Common topics help too.

Ah.


On the lighter note, I've decided to name the new penguin Russel. My mum has been calling it 'Guin' for days. But I think Russel suits that naughty rascal more. It's so chubby and fat!!! Cute!

I have been busy for the past few days.

Every year, I look forward to November/December choir practices as we are usually preparing for a concert and we get to have rehearsals almost daily. I really wish we could be like what Mrs Lim said about those Swedish schools - they have 'singing schools' where great emphasis is placed on singing instead of academics. Ah, the joy of singing everyday in a choir.

I felt really proud of my juniors after hearing them improve the week before the concert. It was good that Laura, Melanie and Jia Ying came back to help us. The techniques they introduced to us reminded me so much of Mr Albert Tay. Somehow, I still think all the techniques taught by him are the most effective for me. Ah, my Secondary One days, when we had Ms Jennifer Tham and Mr Tay.

Being so proud of my cute, lovable juniors (Hahaha), somehow this just makes me feel old. Especially the thought of leaving them next April. I will miss them all so much!
I'm a little worried for my section though. What Juniper said is true: the bulk of our section's voices come from the Sec3s. Meaning to say that the rest must put a teensy bit more effort to train their voices more so that they can coach the new people next year. The rest of the sections improved by leaps and bounds this holiday however. The Alto two section now sounds really strong and expressive. The Soprano two section can pretty much survive without Yi Bin or Claudia now. Alto One still needs to be more strong when coming in but they have improved nevertheless!

This time I bought candy canes and chocolates for the choir to thank them for working so hard for this performance. The section leaders all bought something for their own sections - except Soprano One..Hahaha. Well, that's okay. I managed to get gummies from Winny. Maybe what Zi Yu said is right, I keep bullying her. Well, I don't think I'm a bully...But I do pester her a lot. But she is such a nice person!! :D I'm so sorry for always disturbing you online, Winny! Hope she reads this.

I managed to apply make-up for myself for the performance fairly well. The eyeshadow has never been a problem but lipstick and blusher are the tougher ones to tackle. Anyway, I helped a few of the others to apply the eyeshadow. But dear Winny just refused to have a single layer of cosmetics on her face. Therefore, IF we ever have a concert before I step down, my main mission will be to make sure everyone has a decent amount of makeup. That clever girl managed to wash off the blusher. Tsk.

Our Saturday's performance went well. We sounded awesome. I think. Personally, I think we look better in the purple lycra shirt and black pants when compared to us wearing the gowns. Oh, Ying Ting only returned her gown last week, when SYF was right in the first half of the year. We were all really surprised to see her return with the gown.

My mum bought me a penguin plushie on Saturday. It's turning into a little tradition: Her buying soft toys each time I perform. I don't mind it at all. This penguin is really plump - well, fat. But it's just so cute! After the concert, mum and I went to the Niwa Sushi shop at Tampines MRT Station to eat some sushis. Those were delicious!

Sunday was indeed a busy day. Since I woke up pretty late, I had to rush through my practising for my guitar lesson. Considering the fact that I had rehearsals the whole week for choir and reached home late and didn't practise at all till an hour before lesson, I think I did pretty well. I relied solely on sight-reading this time and the only thing the teacher remarked on was that I need to try to minimise any non-guitar sounds while playing. Oh, and that I must not turn my wrist like what I did when I was asked to play the A Minor scale.

Right after lesson, I went to change into a skirt since I can't wear shorts to Espanade. I was the first to reach City Hall. After the rest came we set off for the KBox branch at Marina Square with Cynthia leading the way. My first time at a Karaoke lounge made me feel a little apprehensive when I stepped in. All of us had lots of fun though. Ms Ong and Claudia joined us a while later.

Since the concert started at 7.30pm, except for Cynthia, all of us rushed over to Espanade minutes before. Since Zhuo Min, her mum, Juniper and I were the only ones who bought the $35 tickets, we had to separate from the rest who bought the $20 tickets. When Juniper and I got to the Circle seats, we were a mere three minutes from the start of the concert.

SYC and Friends concert was awesome! The SYC Ensemble Singers sounded really good. Every section is really strong and the balance was good. We got to see Ms Tham and Mr Tay sing too! There was this guy who is singing in Baritone or Bass - he's just so expressive that it's so outstanding! All the soloists were really remarkable too! I especially like the Cantate Domino by Vaclovas Augustinas and the Light Mass part after the Intermission. Benedictus sounded beautiful :D
Juniper and I shouted "You rock, Jollin" or something along that line afterwards. I think Jollin heard it since we were sitting almost directly over the stage.

After the concert, I met Ee Faye and a few of the Sec1s who attended the concert too on my way to the station. They found the songs long. Well, I'm not sure...I was just blown away by the beauty of the songs that it didn't really matter to me how long there were. While passing by New York New York restuarant, I saw Yi Bin and Claudia. I didn't join them for supper though - since it was kind of late. Since I only had breakfast the whole day, I had a cup of yogurt and seaweed crackers upon reaching home. I was just so tired...

Today was the 6/9 gathering. I was really worried when Juniper initially said that we were going to meet Ms Ong today. But since my activities didn't clash with each other in the end, I got to go for today's gathering. Not many people actually went. We just loitered around at Changi Airport's Terminal Two and ate at the McDonald's there. After which all of us could not agree on a place to proceed to. Some wanted to go bowling, some wanted to play pool. In the end we just went to Kai Ho's house. Everyone just played cards or Wii. I didn't get the chance to watch them play Guitar Hero since I had to go home for dinner. Which is kind of a pity since my school's Wii games don't seem to include Guitar Hero.

Walking to Tanah Merah station from Kai Ho's house would not have been possible without Priscilla. I would've most probably gotten lost somewhere and Michael said he has a poor sense of direction. Indeed because we almost went off in the wrong direction at some road if not for Priscilla asking us to cross it. Anyway, somehow I just don't know how to talk to my ex-classmates as easily as how I talk to my choir people or my present classmates. Maybe it's because I used to be so shy and timid. And to think that people from Crescent will most probably not use those two words to describe me now. Ah well.

I managed to change my ear studs today! It was incredibly difficult at first and I was wondering if I will have the same ear studs for the rest of my life and die with them. But I got them changed in the end!! But my right earlobe hurts now. I don't know why. DD:

I just saw this on Facebook:
Student + Dying = Studying

Somehow, the pleasure derived from just plainly studying had long vanished along with pretty much of my childhood. Teachers all have a common sentence that must be said: Pay attention, this is how they will usually ask during the examinations, this is how you should answer, so that you can get the full score for that question.

It's a little sad that students now just learn for the certificate they will get upon completing their education in order to get a job with a decent pay. Whereas students used to learn just for learning's sake, and just to enjoy school life. More students also suffer from depression or other stress-related issues now.

Today's lesson only had the presence of four people in the room. The teacher, Owen, Tammy and me. I kind of prefer it this way though. It feels more comfortable because there are fewer people around. We couldn't escape playing the ensemble piece as there were still four of us though.

While Owen was playing the solo piece We Wish You a Merry Christmas, I made a small discovery. I was remarking about how his playing would most probably be better than mine considering the amount of time I spent on practising this week. And I continued how it seemed a tad embarrassing since he is much younger than me. Tammy then told me that he was only a year younger than me. And I'd always thought that he was still in Primary school. Ah well. Anyway, my playing was alright - definitely much better than last week's. The only problem was the chord changes which could have been better if I kick the habit of detaching my fingers too far away from the strings.
Alas, there came the next piece to learn by next week: Moderato by M. Carcassi and to play the A minor scale flawlessly. Sigh. Tammy and Eugenia won't be present next week. So I'm most probably going to be the only Secondary Three there.

Homework. Somehow, I get the feeling that if 'homework' were to be a person, it would a my nemesis - some monstrous, evil, scheming creature which intends to take all the joy out of my life.

Guitar lesson on Sunday wasn't exactly good since I didn't practise. We are doing Christmas carols now.

Choir has been alright I suppose. The French school exchange was really fun albeit it being far too short. We had only one and a half hour to mingle with each other. There were not many chances to speak to each other too since we had to utilise that short period of time to the maximum by singing.

When I entered the school, I wondered if we were still in Singapore. It was my first time in an international school and the campus looked really different from our usual school compound. The students also didn't have uniforms and you could see them walking about. When we got there in was already mid-afternoon so most of them were heading home. It really seemed like a school scene from those European shows.

Everyone took quite a while to settle down in the auditorium. Partly because we couldn't understand their conductor initially. Well, at least I was confused. She calls the sections by different terms and I wasn't used to sitting in once whole big block, I guess.

I stood in the first row, in between two girls from the French school. The girl on my right was Julia ( I think that was her name ) and the one on my left was Ariane. When Julia told me Ariane could speak Mandarin I was actually kind of surprised since I didn't really expect to find Asians in the school. Ariane told me that she has been in the school since she was five and her mum is a Taiwanese. After Ariane knew I can speak Mandarin, she started speaking in Mandarin to me and I think she is more fluent in the language that I am if I were to be frank.

Although they did not seem familiar with the combined pieces at all I was struck by how earnest they were in their singing. Julia told me that they only learnt the first few pages of Why We Sing and sang 大海啊！故乡 using the syllable 'la'. They also performed two Swedish pieces for us afterwards and during our turn, we performed around half of our December concert repertoire.

It didn't really matter whether their standard is as good as us, or worse than us. In my opinion, their enthusiasm and willingness to learn had already won me over from the start. I really like Julia too, she was really friendly.

At the end we gave each of them our choir badges and a bouquet of flowers to the French conductor. Let's hope we will get to have a combined performance with them soon!

By the way, the journey from the florist near my house to Redhill was a little awkward for me. It wasn't the first time I was carrying a bouquet while taking the public transport. The first was with my mum. We were going to visit Aunt Rachel at some hospital after the birth of her daughter. So my mum and I got this bouquet of teddy bears for Aunt Rachel. And for the duration of the journey there, I had plenty of stares. Yesterday was the same too, just that it was a bouquet of lilies instead. A lady asked me about it on the way too. She spoke to me in Mandarin; I guessed she was a Chinese/Taiwanese tourist since she didn't appear local and she had a luggage with her.

Wow! Who gave you those lilies? Your boyfriend is so sweet/romantic!
Nonono, I'm giving these flowers to someone else. They are not for
me.
How much is it?
Around $55 for a bouquet this size.
Ohh...Still, so sweet of him to give you lilies. They smell great!

My arm went numb from cradling the lilies on the train. The florist told me that I must not crush the lilies and must cradle it gently. Somewhat like how parents carry babies I think?

Dinner at Yoshinoya went well. Lots of people couldn't make it unfortunately. Our group of nine went to Bishan Library (I didn't know there was a library there) after eating. I nearly walked into a glass panel there. It has been proven repeatedly that I should not have too many glass panels at home if I were to shift. Otherwise, I think I will have plenty of chances to walk into them.

I went to watch the movie Disney's A Christmas Carol last weekend with my mum. The three ghosts that visited Scrooge at midnight seemed scarier than the ones I saw in previous versions of the same story. The last version I watched was the English version, I think. And it wasn't an animation so there was a limit to how dramatic the ghosts appeared. There wasn't the journey to outer space in the old version I guess. But the animation was as heartwarming as all earlier versions. After all, the main plot is still the same, carrying along the lesson to be learnt by Scrooge. Charles Dickens' stories are good.

Should I go for the carolling even though Yibin won't be with me? D: