celestial awakening
xxxxxx
night stars are the street lights of eternity.
Now, just give me a moment to find back my life, because I don't seem to have one right now.
Saturday, September 25, 2010 @ 12:27 am leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Right now, I honestly wish to wallow in self-pity at some remote cobwebbed corner of the house and play with my shadow after knowing about the avalanche of homework given.

No one ever said it was easy, but teachers are giving us homework like their lives depended on it. The amount of homework for just each subject is already colossal, let alone the total amount of stuff I have to do. In fact, the man question now is: Will I break down first or die trying to complete everything before that happens? 

Is it even possible for a mere mortal like me to finish the assignments and papers? 
I swear teachers are sadists - they make the students go through the mental anguish while they make themselves feel better by marking all our scripts frantically. It's like compensation. 

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Fingers on Nylon
Thursday, September 09, 2010 @ 12:34 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
My fingers hurt, especially my little finger. After not practising for such a long time, it does hurt when I play the more challenging pieces. I'm still trying to slide properly, since it can be a pain sometimes. It's also frustrating how I'm really bad at barre chords. I really need to improve on my skills since we are advancing one level as of October. Meaning to say that there will be new techniques and more tough pieces to learn.

I've been to listening to quite a few of this guy's pieces. (click on the titles to listen)
I especially love 天空の城ラピュタ and 千と千尋の神隠し. This guitarist is really good in my opinion. I don't really like to listen to professional classical guitar players most of the time. Instead, I usually listen to guitar covers done by these kind of talented Youtube guitarists.

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I say we should look out of the windows and contemplate on life.
Friday, September 03, 2010 @ 3:23 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
(I know that I declared a hiatus, but I'm just dropping by...)
I made a pact, or rather a promise, not to buy any notebooks or soft toys for at least two months.

It went along fine actually. I managed to refrain from buying them for two months. I didn't even buy a new album recently, although I'm really really tempted to hunt down 이승기 4th album, Shadow. But of course, as in life, there are always slips. I bought two teddy bears on Tuesday, which was actually the last day of my so called "promise". So I guess that could be considered a celebration? I realise I always manage to get membership cards from shops like Artbox and EIII Street. All the shops with soft toys in them. Not really surprising. 

However, I suppose it is quite pathetic that I still didn't manage to save as much as I'd expected two months ago. I did restrict myself. I didn't buy albums, soft toys, accessories, cases, trinkets whatnot. But I somehow spent on books. Maybe it's because the Kinokuniya branch at Bugis Junction has just been revamped and the new concept really appeals to me. It actually looks so much more like the branch at Takashimaya now. Which reminds me, it must have been eons since I last stepped into the Orchard Road shopping district. O' woe is me. What'd happened to my life?

But before I digress even further, as I was saying, I seem to have been spending my allowance on books. It could be also due to the fact that I have been having my lunches with my mum at Bugis Junction, where she works. Since the bookstore is in the building too, temptation is near. There seems to be a mystical force which draws me into the quiet shop while my mum is in her office. 

Within two weeks, I've bought three books, on three separate days I have been there. I could have bought a fourth too actually, if not for my mum dragging me to a different level on that day. Ah well.
So recently, I managed to get these three books of entirely different genres, styles and authors. The first I bought was about something everyone should be familiar about in this day and age. It's titled "The Facebook Effect". It's not so much about the appeal of Facebook as to the story behind it. It made me look at Facebook from a different angle altogether. 

The second was not a really good choice. I actually bought it on an impulse. Then again, all my books are bought on an impulse. Well, I was a little reckless on that day I guess. It's a fantasy book, and is part of the Vampire Academy series. Now, I have never read the series before and book I picked, "Spirit Bound" Is actually the second last volume of the whole plot. And it does not seem to be all that interesting after all that novelty of finding a book on vampires. Believe me, I do like reading about vampires, but the story just seems to be a little tiresome at some parts and the main character seemed...indecisive? It seems that it will just turn out as some 'Bella and Edward' game all over again. After reading the Twilight series last year, this holds no novelty for me anymore. 

The third which I acquired today is really good. Titled "The Unconsoled" by Kazuo Ishiguro. Really, I find that the Literature section always manages to help me unearth some real treasures instead of the common trashy novels many hanker after these days. The section for Young Adults is also not a good choice half the time because I would have read quite a few of the books there. Maybe I really should have taken Literature after all. I miss it so much. 

Anyway, this is the second time I'm exposed to the slow and dreamy kind of writing style in "The Unconsoled", which is similar to Soseki Natsume's "I Am a Cat" from what I can see. It's difficult to master in my opinion. Yet, it really attracts me and I love reading such kind of novels. Few people agree with me however. Even my mum feels that my books are difficult to read. 

Well, today's the last day of Term 3 of school. It didn't really seem like a big day or anything actually, considering that there was our Elementary Mathematics Paper 2 for our Preliminary Examinations. Secondary Four life, that's just how it is. I'm already numbed to exams and tests. I honestly feel that I should reevaluate my life sometimes.

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My announcement.
Saturday, August 21, 2010 @ 12:41 am leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I know this place has been really quiet for quite some time.
But.

I now declare a hiatus till November.

Till then.

Credits to SapphireMoment @ SJ-World



I may still write some stories every now and then though.
You're welcomed to read them on the other site.

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사춤!
Saturday, July 17, 2010 @ 11:34 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Sachoom (사춤), the dance musical, is a really great show.
My mum actually got tickets for the two of us for yesterday's afternoon show at the Esplanade Theatre Hall!

Our seats were quite good actually. Even though we were at the side, it was the third row from the stage. Due to the NDP rehearsal, the show started fifteen minutes late too - more than enough time for the Korean family who rushed all the way in to sit in front of us.

The dance moves were executed with utmost accuracy and the dancers were all outstanding, even those without the lead roles. Ah, if only I could dance like them.

Halfway through the show, one of the dancers (the best looking guy, in fact) came over to our seats and started to hand out freebies to the two kids in front of me. When he approached me, his body language told me that he wanted to give one to me too. But that guy chose to tease me further, by handing it over to my mum at the very last minute despite my outstretched hand. Afterwards, he did indeed hand me one key-chain and even gave me a high-five as a bonus!

There was a mini photo-taking session with the dancers after the show. I almost took photos with all of the dancers save for two guys because there wasn't enough time. It was such a pity that the guy who gave me a high five was one of the two whom I did not manage to take a picture with. Oh the disappointment. :\




Because.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 @ 1:57 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Cr. SapphireMoment @ sj-world.net

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완전 대박대박!~
Tuesday, June 15, 2010 @ 2:17 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Saturday's audition was alright since I managed to hit all the notes without cracking despite losing my voice only days before and being sick. However, I couldn't get the second note right halfway through. That was when I actually freaked out right in front of the conductor. How smart of me.

I didn't think of telling them that I was sick. I don't think that they would be more lenient even if they knew anyway. The interview was normal till the last question. They asked me to tell them more about myself and I was stumped at that. I then proceeded on to telling them about really random stuff and how I got to like singing - they said the last question was partly for their own entertainment anyway, since they were bored sitting there, so I guess the answer doesn't really matter much. Yi Bin didn't get the question for her interview though. 

Right now, it's homework, homework, and homework. I have been procrastinating. Ah well. How I abhor holiday homework.

I know I may get bricked by some people for mentioning this. But I really find 성민 singing 규현's part in 미인아 to be really good. And I prefer 성민 to do the slide rather than 규현. I admit I think 규현 has improved a lot in his dancing and he is a good singer. But 성민's slide seems to be more smooth and less robotic than 규현's. And the part where 규현, 은혁, 동해 and 신동 dance in front. I wish 성민 could replace 규현 for that part. 규현 is much taller than the other three so when he jumps or moves, it just doesn't blend as well as them. I just find that they should have placed 성민 or 이특 for that part. I mean, isn't uniformity something all dancers hope for for group dances? But this is just my opinion. And I do think that 규현 looks good performing his parts nevertheless. (Just that sometimes the focus seems to be on KRY only)
I hope 규현 would come back soon. But I will definitely miss 성민 singing the high part after 려욱, and the sliding. 

And triple crown on 인기가요!!! If I'm not wrong, this is Super Junior's third time getting triple crown!!!!! First was for 'U' in 2006, then 'Sorry Sorry' last year, and now for '미인아'. 
The best part was when I knew Super Junior only got #4 for Music Bank last week, I kept wishing that they would at least get a Mutizen. But they actually got a triple crown instead! 슈주4집대박! 슈주 완전대박!

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아니야 Stop!
Thursday, June 10, 2010 @ 1:24 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
A small disclaimer: This post is long due the the online conversation. Skip it if it's too lengthy for you. Anyone willing to teach me Korean? 
Right now it hurts even to speak. I'm not sure why I am always so prone to falling ill and my throat swells so easily. My mum said that it could be tonsillitis - I really hope not. So. The biggest problem now is that I have an audition this coming Saturday. And since I am in first soprano, I would have to sing the high notes...How am I even going to reach a high 'A' with my current situation. Sigh.

I really like this line: 

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star 잡기엔 뜨거운 그녀가
나쁘게 보여 끌렸다고 봐 봐 내 말이 틀렸나
알면 됐고 고 고 고 고 그녀만 쳐다 보 보 보 보 봐!
넌 다시 말해 나쁜 나쁜 나쁜, 아니야 Stop! 너무 예쁜 게 죄 일뿐


Chatting with Jolene never fails to make me amused.

 !meijun says:
 what will be your first reaction
 if i am your classmate next year?

x  me says:
 O.O
 *looks again* *pinches*
 The
 *then
 freak out
 and then, calm down
 say HI
 again

!meijun says:
 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 i was just thinking abt it

x  me says:
 oh well

!meijun says:
 hahahahhahahahahahaha
 just thinking about it
 makes me laugh
 xD

x  me says:
 I don't know
 whether to look forward to it
 or hope
 that I will NOT see you again
 next year

!meijun says:
 xD
 look on fb
 i counted
 this is our 7th year together!

x  me says:
 Didn't you realise...?

!meijun says:
 no i always thought 5
 D:

x  me says:
 ....

!meijun says:
 HAHAHAHA
 i cant stop laughing
 i had this dream
 that you screamed
 when you realise we were classmates
 again

x  me says:
 HAHAHAHHAHAHAAH
 LOOOOOL
 OMG
 what if
 it comes true

!meijun says:
 i will ...
 i dont know what i will do
 i would think that
 it will be cooler if i get to be classmates with a cute guy for 8 years instead
 -.-

x  me says:
 ....................
 Mei Jun
 that's not very possible
 since that cute guy
 can't possibly go to
 crescent
 you do realise
 right?

!meijun says:
That's just sad D:

!meijun says:
 I hate dsa
 D:

x  me says:
 me too

!meijun says:
 should i call them to back out?

x  me says:
 no

!meijun says:
 ...
 87 applicants
 fighting for 5 spots

x  me says:
 You still have
 a one in twenty
 approx
 chance
 of getting in

!meijun says:
 ...
 nah
 coz
 number one
 i have trouble keep my pitch now
 somehow
 D:
 WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MEEE

x  me says:
 ...
 CHILL
 CALM DOWN
 GO FOR IT
 EVEN IF YOU SCREW IT UP
 OR DON'T GET IT
 AT LEAST YOU TRIED
 IF YOU DON'T GO
 FOR ALL YOU KNOW
 NEXT YEAR
 YOU'LL LOOK BACK
 AND REGRET GIVING UP
 THAT ONE IN TWENTY CHANCE
 DO YOU WANT TO GO VJC OR NOT?!?!?!?!

!meijun says:
 err yeah
 but D:
 its a cruel sch
 D:
 the stupid cuttoff

x  me says:
 ....
 I NEED TEAAAAA
 ARGGGH

!meijun says:
 ...
 want breakfast tea?

x  me says:
 no
 i think
 i'll finish my orange juice
 then go make some tea

!meijun says:
 ...
 THAT WILL UPSET YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
 DDDD:
 NONONO

x  me says:
 .....

!meijun says:
 why not mix it all together?

x  me says:
 -.-
 no thanks
 orange-y stuf + tea
 is ...
 doesn't agree with me
 I know, since I destest earl grey

!meijun says:
 i hate homework
 i hatehatehate homework
 i wish to stuff it into my neighbour's dog's throat
 and also to let it poop on it...T^T

x  me says:
 your neighbour
 would...
 sue you
 and i think
 it would die
 or something

!meijun says:
 well it cant stop barking
 im doing service to the rest of the neighbourhood (depending on how we see it, hahahaha)
 -.-
but yeah, I don't think I will ever have the guts to do it anyway...and I don't dislike the poor dog THAT much after all...

x  me says:
 LOL

!meijun says:
 and i wish that the stupid pile of papers
 will magically vanish
 i gave up trying to flush it away
 it will choke the toilet
 GAH

x  me says:
 looolxz

!meijun says:
 GAHHHH
 i hate hwhwhwhwhwhw
 salalalalkfdposadk

x  me says:
 -.-
!meijun says:
 JAJAJAJ
 BALH
 BLAH

x  me says:
 ..............

!meijun says:
 that was the voice of a person's inner frustrations

x  me says:
 hahaahahaha

!meijun says:
 do you know
 the trumpet
 can render a person deaf

x  me says:
 well
 i'm not deaf

!meijun says:
=)
 guess so
 you know
 my dream
 my biggest dream
 is to be able to star in a musical
 someday

x  me says:
 o.o

!meijun says:
 someday=10% chance of ever happening

x  me says:
 it willll
 well you can always strive to your dream

!meijun says:
 HAHAHAHA

x  me says:
 JY YOU CAN DO IT
 at least your dream
 is more attainable
 then mine
 -.-''''

!meijun says:
 HAHAHAHA
 i will vote  for you ?

x  me says:
 -.-
 I don't want
 to be
 the PM/ anything
 that requires
 voting

!meijun says:
 ah well

Sometimes, I think that the reason why Jo and I can chat with each other everyday on MSN is because both of us are insanely random people.

Anyone wants to teach me Korean?

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Peek a Booo
Wednesday, June 09, 2010 @ 1:00 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I've not been here for quite a long time...

Well, right after Chinese Language written paper for the O' Levels, I have been out all week.
After my exam on Monday, I went to VJC with Yi Bin to submit our application forms before going for ACJC's 'An Evening With Friends' concert. This is my second time attending their choir concert, and they are still as good. I especially liked Sons of Jacob.

We met Juniper and Claudia for dinner for the concert and the smoked salmon sandwich I had was really filling. The hour spent in Papermarket with Yi Bin before dinner gave me ideas for my mum's birthday card too. Otherwise, our time at Raffles City before heading over to Esplanade was quite uneventful. Oh, but Juniper nearly got off the train at Raffles Place instead of alighting at City Hall just because we asked her to meet us at Raffles City Shopping centre. Heh.

Tuesday was spent filing all the Chinese Intensive notes, and tidying up my desk. Sad to say, I didn't really start on much homework...

Wednesday on the other hand, was quite a painful day. My mum and I bought new shoes the week before, and I decided to wear my new stilettos since they complement my outfit for that evening. I managed not to trip for the entire day but the walking to VCH from Raffles City with Anna was excruciating for my poor feet. It was good that we went to Raffles City before the concert however, as I got to buy all the materials for my mum's birthday card.

TPJC's 'Plaisir de Chanson' is the first concert I've watched for TPJC choir. They have a really different sound from ACJC. And while ACJC sings more of sacred pieces, TPJC focuses more on folk songs. TP has a brighter tone too - probably due to the Sopranos having such a bright colour. And this is the first time I've seen so many sopranos in one choir. I won't compare both choirs since they sound so different. But I still kind of prefer the songs in ACJC choir (also because they sang The Sons of Jacob). Anna said she likes TP more though, since she doesn't like sacred pieces and finds them more boring. Oh, but the song with all the sounds in the forest...that was awesome! There was this girl in TPJC choir who could imitate the sound of an ape. And a boy who could mimic the cricket sounds!!!

After the guests choirs performed, the choir went on to put on a musical when intermission ended. I wonder when will I ever get the chance to be able to take part in a musical. I don't really think the ABBA medley we did in Musical Evening could be counted.

Thursday morning was then spent on my mum's birthday card. It's finished now, and I really hope my mum will like it! I went to visit Crez choir that afternoon. It's really scary how they are just a week away from their overseas performance and they still have three more songs to learn. I really don't understand the slow progress and they all seemed to be in agony while singing the songs. But I think the worst news was that Mrs Lim chose all the challenging pieces to make up the repertoire. As much as I wish to help them and learn the pieces with them, we do realise that we should make the juniors independent instead. Somehow, the juniors have come to rely on us a lot. I'm not even sure what to do now.

I had dinner with Ms Ong, Ariel, Juniper, Yi Bin, Claudia, Timothy and Ms Ong's other student from Wild Empire on Friday night. We ate at Modesto's. We talked loads about the different choirs. Dessert from Fruit Paradise wasn't really my cup of tea although the rest seemed to love it. Yi Bin also went on to take plenty of candid shots of everyone.

Saturday came and I met Yi Bin to revise on our singing techniques with Ms Ong. It was really a last minute decision and a crash course. I did badly.

Guitar lesson on the next day was alright I guess. I managed to play the entire piece in its tremolo version. But I still can't do the tremolo technique nicely. Well, the teacher said it takes years to master it. Waltz is the next song we have for homework.

I won't be surprised if I fail the auditions actually. Sure, I have lots of CCA points, I have a few leadership positions since my first year in my school. But my singing is not all that outstanding. And to add on, I'm having a sore throat and I can't reach the high notes nicely anymore. My support techniques are weak. I can't kick my diaphragm as fast as last time. The list goes on and on. I guess, I must start doing leg lifts and crunches again? Oh the horror.

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"I'll be back!"
Thursday, May 13, 2010 @ 7:03 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Warning: Kpop mentioned in post. Read last two paragraphs to skip it.

The album is out. After so many weeks of waiting it's finally out!~

Another huge revelation today - 이성민 has abs! I just saw the 미인아 (Bonamana) Version A and there it is the photo..of his abs in full glory. So 이특 isn't the only one who gets to show off heehee.

Alright, aside from sounding like a hormonally-charged teenage right now... Mid-year examinations are over for me! My last paper ended this afternoon and it was a great burden off me! Besides preparing to see my failing grades next week, I've decided to just drown myself in Korean pop - especially Super Junior, and enjoy posting on forums for today. It's a pity Chinese Intensive starts next week so I wouldn't have time to enjoy after Friday. Guess I will just let my hair down tonight?

I've just listened to a few songs from the new album for Super Junior...They never fail my expectations as usual ^^
I wish 성민 could have more screen time during shows/MVs and more lines to sing in songs though. I really like 성민's voice... and 규현's too. I really hope they will have a duet someday...It'll be awesome! Like having 4men with Davichi together~

For this MYEs, I didn't really focus much. In fact I didn't feel nervous at all. All the daily class tests, afternoon mock exams, weekly timed trials, morning practices and practice papers have somehow gotten me numbed to the word 'examination' or to any of its synonyms. To me MYEs are not important since they are not counted for my year-end major examinations anyway. From now onwards, I really have to brush up on my Chinese Language proficiency however, seeing as to how my Mandarin can be so atrocious that people are amused by it too. Two weeks to Chinese Language O'Levels. I hope I will be able to make the cut.

Oh and I went to Jack's Place at Bras Basah for lunch with Karen and Kai Xin today. Lunch was really filling - and the beef from Kai Xin's spaghetti dish tasted strange. Only Karen ate the beef in the end. The ice cream was good too.
I better start controlling my diet soon though - I must slim down ...But it's difficult! ;~;


"Don't move! From now onwards, any rascal who moves is a criminal!"
-김희철

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Stacked papers
Thursday, April 29, 2010 @ 7:02 am leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I wonder if it's actually possible to finish the whole stack of past MYE papers lying on my desk at home.

If only I can focus just on my Chinese language instead of needing to study for my MYEs too...

On a lighter note, I passed my Chinese Oral!!! I almost thought I'd failed because I guessed so many words in the reading passage and my conversation component was really lacking since I didn't really know what points to say... Ah well. The best news to me about this oral exam however, was that I scored a good 9/10 for my reading. Which is just unbelievable, because I'm well-known to be atrocious in speaking Mandarin. Maybe it's because the teacher said I had good expression. Heh. Ah, if only O'levels would be this smooth-sailing...

English language oral examination was not for my mid-year results however - the result will be taken and added directly to my preliminary exam results. Given that I didn't really practise or prepare, I thought I did alright. It was a waste that I stuttered during the reading part and I *gasps* interpreted the picture wrongly! I wonder if they will penalize you for that...

Conversation went rather well actually,
My second question was

"What do you think most Singaporeans like to do in their past time?"
"Well, I think it's well-known that we love to eat so I guess eating can be considered as our favourite past time. One of our national icons, the Esplanade its also said to be modeled after the durian, a symbolic food of our country. Another fact would be that, if you're overseas, they'd always say that the easiest way to spot a fellow Singaporean would be if they asked what is for dinner when it's just lunch."
"You got that right!" "That is so true!!"

"Alright. Health is wealth, do you agree?"
I agree that health is wealth. With health you would have more time to enjoy life. Even if you have wealth, without health, you would be spending time and money on medical treatments, and that just defeats the purpose of having that much money when you can't even enjoy life."

Actually, I think I could have said more and answered better for the other two questions. But alas, because I was overly concerned and nervous about my answers, I didn't really expand or elaborate much on my views. Which is a great pity. I hope I will still be able to do well, despite all the mistakes I made.

Alright then, I shall sign off here to get back to studying!~
Fighting!

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Don't push us. What happened to our lovely school days?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 6:39 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Somehow, I feel that time is trickling by way too fast for me. Before I know it, I'm already drowning in mock examinations, class tests, timed trials, pop quizzes and the Mid-year examinations which is looming over my head like a blade ready to slice through my thick neck.

Why is it that they praise our education so when the students don't seem to have any time to breathe? I sometimes wonder that. I do cherish the fact that I get the chance to have a proper education, in a nice and clean environment with good facilities and such. But I guess all things come with a price. I feel like I have lost all my dreams and cheeriness to school sometimes.

Most adults work a nine to five job. Most students study from seven to five. Not to forget the workload students bring home is comparable to most adults. In the end, the worries about unpaid bills and grown-up stuff is nearly comparable with the stress lots of students face with their academic pursuits and peer pressure. Not to mention the expectations and competition they must consistently tackle. And the equally late nights and even earlier alarms which results in more sleep deprivation in students today as compared to adults.

In fact, I rarely hear adults saying that we students have it good anymore. Instead, they tell us that we have a hard life and sympathise with us, never failing to mention that in their time, it was so much more easier and going to school actually seemed to be a likeable prospect - something almost impossible to comprehend by many students.

See the difference?

It's true that you can't have the cake and eat it.

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Splashes of the Past
Monday, April 19, 2010 @ 12:04 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
The person I've become. What would those I'd previously known say if they see how I am now?

Sometimes, I feel that my childhood had been much shorter than my peers, because of the various events that took place within such a short period of time. I found myself maturing far more quickly that my classmates then. I grew independent. Yet lonely at the same time.

My fifth birthday wish was impossible to come true: I wanted an older brother. At that time, I still didn't have my 'bird and bees' talk and thought that a family could pre-order their children. Well, but of course I got distracted by my first pink bicycle which I got for my birthday instead. How easily children are satisfied.

Maybe it is indeed better for one to be the only child. After all, a sibling would steal your parent's attention and affection. Or parents would make comparisons between the siblings. That would be awful, I agree.

Somehow, the wish to have an older sibling has disappeared. But just sometimes, a small part of me wishes that my mum would be happier. I realise it's almost impossible to be happy with the job she has. That aside, I sometimes wished she has more friends to support her. She has given up so much for me. How great an unconditional love is - especially a mother's.


A chapter of my life has come to a small ending - I will need to focus on my major examinations now. My last choir performance was Speech day. Even though we sped up, we did well I guess. My beloved juniors prepared so much for our batch that I was too surprised and touched to say much in person.

I will miss choir so much. I wonder how it will be not to practise or perform for the months ahead. Some say they live to eat. Well, I live to perform. One of the times I feel the happiest would be when I'm preparing tirelessly for an upcoming performance and another would be when I finally get out there onstage and show what I'd worked so hard for, and to be under the limelight, receiving every one's encouragement. I really do love performing. Not being able to perform makes me feel helpless and stifled. I wonder what my future career would be. Of course, my dream is to be an artiste, or a performer. But it's kind of difficult. Plus, this country's entertainment industry is really small. There isn't even much of a market to start with.

I feel helpless.

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Me
Monday, April 05, 2010 @ 10:11 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I'm tired of it all.
I wonder when I will be able to escape from these shadows.
I wish it will stop hurting.



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The crush.
Saturday, April 03, 2010 @ 11:16 am leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I’ve been feeling quite moody for the past few days. It is true that it’s partly because I’m sick and currently am only able of croaking or sounding like a guy at my best.

This is the first time I could not cheer for Keller or anyone during the Sports Carnival. And to think this will be my last Sports Carnival. It was quite boring at some parts but everyone was especially excited during the Staff Relay. I never knew Mr Chng and Ms Loo could sprint so fast! As for Mr Tan, he didn’t let Keller down and his sprint impressed many people. Well, for someone who participates in marathons each year, it’s not really that surprising. Unfortunately, even though the three teachers were really fast and helped Keller to be the first for that race, we are still the last house. Keller has never won anyway.

This week seemed to jolt me back to my past though. I met Hui Xuan’s mother while on the MRT train on Tuesday. It was really awkward to answer her questions about me however – I found the questions a little too personal. I felt a little bad for not telling her the full picture of what happened to my family and other things. But that feeling disappeared after her questions turned really personal and she started to give me advice which I do not actually need. I don’t know why but I get a little apprehensive and uncomfortable when she started advising me about my family matters. I mean, she doesn’t know the full picture so I don’t think it is right to assume what had happened. But, I’m sorry, auntie, that I just told half-truths and didn’t want to answer your questions directly. If only I didn’t tell her my name, things would have been better. She didn’t recognize me at first and said that I have changed a lot in terms of appearances.

Monday’s train journey back was one that shocked me the most though. I thought I saw someone important who I haven’t spoken to since January last year. That person had been a confidante. Till now, I still don’t know if I had offended that person but it definitely is sad that we don’t talk to each other anymore. I tried to ask if I really did see the person on the train the day after but as usual, there wasn’t a definite answer. But I’m sure I didn't recognise wrongly this time. How and why did we drift apart again? I used to hope that I can forget.

"Do you think we will still keep in touch with each other years later?"
"Hey, if you have a girlfriend one day, will you still call me?"

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A simple push
Saturday, March 27, 2010 @ 2:21 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
We are still masters of our fate.
We are still captains of our souls.
-Winston Churchill
Warning: Kpop mentioned in post.

I feel a little guilty for neglecting to update this blog as frequently as I used to. Homework, assignments, projects, mock examinations and timed trials are taking their toll on me though.

The Singapore Entertainment Awards event was fun.

I was browsing through the shops in Raffles City shopping mall before meeting Rosi for dinner. Somehow or rather, I managed to get mistaken for a tourist again. A girl near my age spoke to me in Korean and English. I was in Papermarket and there was this container full of cute pencils, and I automatically held one up and debated whether I should buy it as a gift or for myself. Suddenly the girl popped up on my right and immediately took another pencil of a similar design and stated, "Pencil." and smiled widely at me. I honestly did not know how I should react and just smiled and nodded at her. That action alone seemed to get her even more excited and after I placed back a sharpener I have been holding onto the shelf, she picked it up and stated, "Pencil sharpener!". I then wondered if she was a tourist. In the end she started to speak to me in Korean. Once she realise I didn't understand a single bit of the one-sided dialogue though, she walked back to her group of friends in one corner of the shop with a disappointed look. Throughout the whole scene, I could not think of anything to say at all. It was just too surprising.

When I went into That CD Shop, one sales assistant could not stop recommending albums for me to buy. It was really amusing. I made it clear to her the first time she asked that I was only browsing through and do not intend to buy anything from the shop. But she did not give up and continued suggesting CDs to me and after a while she decided to pester a few tourists instead. I felt a little bad for the lady beside me who was ignored by the girl the whole time. She wasn't a tourist. Then again, does it really matter if the customer is a local?

I found people glancing at me in the shopping mall too. Maybe the sight of a girl shopping alone seemed odd to them. Or maybe it was because I was just walking around the whole mall. Seeing Winny at the entrance while waiting for Rosi at six in the evening was surprising - I didn't expect to see anyone familiar.

Dinner with Rosi and Yitong at Shokudo was really good. My plate of cold noodles were tasty albeit a tad too filling. We then met Sarah, Jia Wen and her family afterwards. Our group walked a the way to the Marina Floating Platform. We nearly went in the wrong direction if not for the large crowd walking to the venue - they were also going for the event.

We managed to find our seats without too much difficulty and had a mini photo snapping session of each other. Everyone went wild when SHINee made their entrance. In fact, I realised that a good half of the audience were Shawols. The girl sitting in front of me had a SHINee light stick.

All the artistes performed well although 小鬼's voice sounded a little hoarse - I suspect he was sick. When SHINee performed, the crowd went absolutely wild. Everyone either stood on their seats or rushed forward to the barricades. And the screaming was a huge indication of the number of Shawols present. Even the emcees were surprised.

Of course, SHINee didn't disappoint and pulled off a great stage performance. However, once they left the stage, people started to leave, even though the singer, Eason Chen, was still performing on stage after SHINee. It was a little awkward and I felt a little sorry for the poor singer on stage even though I never really knew how to appreciate his songs. Sometimes, fans can be insensitive unknowingly.

I met my mum after the event and unfortunately, we could not catch the last train home. We had no choice but to try for a taxi which took ages to come because everyone was queuing up for taxis too.

These days school life has been pretty exhausting. I can't wait to step down because it's getting more difficult to manage all three leadership positions in one go, with my studies included. Hopefully, I will be able to focus more on my academics when I let go two of my leadership positions. I am getting a little worried about choir though - the seniors are not doing as well as they should. I'm just praying that they will be able to guide the juniors when the time comes.

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Comeback
Sunday, March 14, 2010 @ 10:09 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
I have way too much to post about, but too little time to note every detail.

Directly after my last paper ended, we had a little break before setting off for our Learning Journey field trip to the Singapore Discovery Centre. I managed to play a bit of Foosball - wonder who made that orange newspaper ball.

After setting off for the place, I got a little groggy on the bus, but no, I did not puke. I think I'm getting better at controlling my headache and pains nowadays. Who knows, maybe I will not even have the problem of motion sickness in the future (is there a cure for it anyway?)

The trip was fairly interesting. They gave us a talk in an auditorium and showed us a video which revealed some gruesome acts committed during war. There was also another video showing a little of how NS life is like for the boys in their first three months. I have always been grateful that the boys are serving the nation through their national service but after watching the videos, I think my admiration just increased.

Right after the talk, they let us taste a bit of the standard Army rations and let us hold the two rifles placed on the table in front. I now know that holding a rifle is definitely no joke - not when it weighs a tiring five kilogrammes...just how do the guys carry it while they run in their trainings? Oh and I really like the biscuits and the rice dumpling!

We had lunch after that but I was really full from eating the biscuits. Somehow the biscuits were really filling. I shouldn't have eaten the biscuits though because I could have bought the pizza in the cafeteria. I remember buying the pizza from the cafeteria over there a few years back and it was delicious. Ah well. Angela didn't eat much too. I was trying to find a water cooler in that place, but to no avail,

"Hey, have you seen any water coolers anywhere?"
"Have. There!" *Points to the water fountain thing in the middle of the pond/lake/water body outside*
How typical of Yimin to be so smart.


Our SAFTI tour then started. Charmaine TTT helped me take a few photos from her side of the bus. While we were walking to the tower, I spotted this little scooter which had a basket in the front! And there was this rear mirror in the plastic cover of a 'Victory' sign hand. It was super cute! Rosi and I went back to take a picture with it afterwards.

Despite having gone to SDC thrice before, I have never gone up the tower - the previous three times always ended with heavy rain and the guide never let us out of the bus because of the bad weather, so I'd always settled for staring at the tower from a distance. Finally, I got to go up the tower and the view is magnificent, although the height is a little scary when you look down. I think my mum would be freaking out if she went up. When we went down, everyone in the lift greeted the two guys waiting outside with a "Good afternoon, sirs!"
I think they were really amused by us. We also took a class photo at the grassy slope at the bottom of the tower.

We then went to the Army museum. Where everyone took lots of photos. But because the guide moved too fast and didn't really give us much time to take them, I took more photos of people and plants than artifacts.

After the trip I fell asleep on the bus and woke up with an ache in my neck. Somehow I felt really tired.

Right after that day, we had our "I Am Gifted, and So Are You!" programme in school. It starts at 8am and ends at 9pm. When I first got to know the schedule, the first thing which entered my mind was: Wow, are we able to camp in school secretly instead so that we can get more sleep?
But yes, the programme was fun. There was a session whereby the trainers listed scenarios which made us question ourselves about how much have we done for our parents despite their unconditional love. Everyone cried really hard. I started crying way before that though. Somehow, when I watched the video of this guy who remained really positive despite having no legs, I couldn't stop my tears from flowing. The rest of the night was spent with our eyes red and tired from all the crying.

And thanks to Jolene's dad, I got to arrive home on both nights in less than an hour. Because she lives in Simei, her dad was really nice to let me take a lift from them. Thanks!
On the last day there was also the Parents' Seminar where most of our parents came and learnt a portion of what we did from the programme. I think I was the only one who didn't cry when I spoke in front of the whole crowd to my mum. Maybe it's because both of us are close, I guess. I thought I would've cried too, but somehow I managed not too. And I actually needed the toilet, but was afraid to leave the place because the atmosphere was really sombre. Ah well.

My guitar teacher just gave us the song Mary Had a Little Lamb and wants us to finish re-arranging the piece by the next lesson. But he spelt the title wrongly: Merry Had a Little Lamb. Well, Merry sure is a nice name anyway. I'm sure it is a cheerful name. Anyway, I really ought to start on the task!

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Heads up
Monday, March 08, 2010 @ 6:03 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Every man serves a useful purpose:
A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.
- Laurence J. Peter

Check back for updates at the end of this week! I have plenty to post about.

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Pause
Monday, February 22, 2010 @ 12:03 am leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Will be on an indefinite hiatus till 13 March comes.
Till then.


P.S.: I just might post something before then if I feel like it and have the time to.
So, check for updates if you're free too.
^^




Lego Bricks Story
Monday, February 15, 2010 @ 11:16 pm leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
While playing Jenga with my cousins this afternoon, I suddenly realised how much we have grown.
The memory of playing Lego with them was playing through my mind while playing Jenga. I didn't tell them though, since they will most probably find me cheesy.

I suddenly recalled the Sunday visits after my art lessons when my maternal grandma was still around. Her ang ku kuehs were really great. Each Sunday, I would play Lego with Dennis and Gee Tat. Ivan didn't really play with us much - Gee Tat didn't allow him to play sometimes and I think Ivan would cry if I can remember it right. We were really childish. Actually, the ones who actually played with the Lego bricks were Dennis and me. Gee Tat just preferred to destroy anything and throw his toys around the room. Maybe it's because Gee Tat was so rough when playing Jenga today even though the rest of us were kind of into the game so it reminded me of those days, back when I didn't even need to look up to talk to them.

Funny how it hit me that the three of us used to be so close and have become so distant. Does this happen to other people as well? Or maybe it saddens me more since my relatives on my mother's side are the only relatives I know. It seems that I can only talk to Ivan or Dennis freely now while there's this awkwardness with the rest, strangely.

This Chinese New Year has been really fun - and it's really a great break from all the insane homework and stifling studying. Of course, I don't miss school at all. :D
On Saturday, we went to Dennis' house for dinner. My uncle just painted his house in a new colour so maybe that's why he invited all of us to his house for dinner this year - we usually go to Yu Sheng's place for reunion dinner. Dinner was good but my mum kept pressing me to eat faster since we took turns to eat at the table. I didn't really know how to talk to my cousins initially because I felt kind of awkward and I was one of the earliest. But afterwards it got better gradually and Dennis and I just chatted while watching the television. Ivan and Gee Tat came much later and we watched some parodies on Youtube. Yu Sheng kept sneaking into one of the rooms and wore (if I'm guessed right,) Raymond's motorbike helmet on his head. That boy is still as weird and hyperactive as ever. Oh, and Dennis showed me what he did for his art exam last year. His peacock logo looks really cool! He drew a rough draft for me before showing me the actual thing, which is just a piece of cake for him, considering that he has drawn the same thing for at least a hundred times. And Dennis also taught me how to create the hidden words thingy which is just really cool yet simple when you know how to do it.

Chinese New Year was spent at Gee Tat's house as usual. I decided to wear the dress I wore to SHINee's fansign since the dress I bought for CNY suddenly seemed far too short. I didn't do much there since the boys were so absorbed in playing Halo. I did try to amuse myself with watching Hello Baby on Youtube but it took such a long time to load so I gave up after a while. Poor Ivan lost to Dennis and Gee Tat in Halo. But Ivan did manage to reach his target score so I guess it's alright. Good job, Ivan! Dennis and Gee Tat got many kills, depending on the weapons available. Jeremy kept telling any of the aunts or uncles who went into the room that they raised the average age in the room - He still believes that he is eighteen. Sheree, Kelvin and Jeremy just stayed at the side, chatting about university life and Jason was just asleep at a corner. Dinner was alright but somehow some things were not fully cooked in the steamboat.

Today was spent at Ivan's house. I forgot to bring my belt and my shorts kept slipping so I had to sit with my back to the cupboard in the room in case anyone sees anything they are not suppose to. How strategic.

I was a little bored in the beginning because the rest took a long time to come. Yu Sheng wasn't really a good person to play with since he was more interested in
a) insulting others
b) pigging on the CNY goodies and drinks
c) being dirty-minded
d) standing on Ivan's bed
I watched Ivan play that Rabbid game and when Dennis arrived the four of us took turns to play some of the mini games. Dennis. Has. Scary. Memory. Skills. The rest of our scores are way below his. Ivan later played the food drawing game. I must say that I don't draw fantastically with the mouse and the humongous size of it sure didn't help me. But I didn't get the lowest score, considering that our Yu Sheng somehow could get a wondrous zero. While I was watching them play the chorister-slapping game, I sure am glad that no one slaps me each time I get a note wrong.

Afterwards we played Jenga! It was really fun and yours truly did fairly well. Alas, my luck was down for Reversi today. I really need to brush up on my Reversi skills - haven't played since December. Beware, everyone! I am going to start pestering people online for a game of Reversi once more! Oh and like every year, the food at Ivan's house is great. And for dinner I ate my aunt's vegetarian fried rice which tastes just as awesome too. Wonder who brought the sushi...I love the sushi.

4G1 won!!!!! I was just so happy on Friday. In fact I think I'm way too proud of our class. I even showed my cousins our class decorations and they were like 'woah!'. I love you 4G1!!!

And newsflash: Our dearest girl who is blogging now hasn't even completed half of her homework. I guess it's back to 'chiong-ing' again. Give me back my break!

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