It's decided: Sungha Jung is my favourite finger-style guitarist, and he is only 14 years old. 

I've been listening to (or more like getting awestruck by) his songs on Youtube. This is just one of the many songs he covered: Twilight by Kotaro Oshio. I don't know what I should feel: envy or admiration? 

His skills are incredible! He takes only three days on average to learn a new piece. That's what I call raw talent. 

Should I get fingerpicks? 

I've been having dreams of people I know from the past recently.

Among them, the one who stood out the most was a person whom I used to like very much; a person who knew me really well.  Or maybe it's just the strong sense of nostalgia that's hitting me so suddenly. Could it be that the flu I'm having is affecting my sleep? 

When I graduated from my previous school, there wasn't much fuss about it. There was no 'Graduation Night' nor a celebration. The last day of school just quietly came and went just like that. Perhaps I could have done much more and forge stronger friendships if not for my painfully shy attitude towards my peers. But even then, friends drift apart no matter what. That I realize just a year ago. It hurts I suppose, when you realize someone whom you used to talk to over the phone about the most trivial and mundane matters at the end of each day has grown distant. It hurts even more when you finally know that your status has changed from someone who matters to that of just a mere acquaintance. Perhaps the least painful way out is to ignore the irrational feeling of somehow being betrayed and just move on in life. In time to come, new friends replace the old and life's good once more. Sometimes though, it's hard. Especially when the person used to be someone special to you. It's just too hard to forget, and too difficult to ignore. 

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if I'd ever been a truly great friend to those I've drifted apart from. Maybe, just maybe, if I'd been much more persistent, if only I'd not been so passive, could I still have sustained those lost friendships or bonds which have been shriveled up to nothingness?

Right now, I honestly wish to wallow in self-pity at some remote cobwebbed corner of the house and play with my shadow after knowing about the avalanche of homework given.

No one ever said it was easy, but teachers are giving us homework like their lives depended on it. The amount of homework for just each subject is already colossal, let alone the total amount of stuff I have to do. In fact, the man question now is: Will I break down first or die trying to complete everything before that happens? 

Is it even possible for a mere mortal like me to finish the assignments and papers? 

I swear teachers are sadists - they make the students go through the mental anguish while they make themselves feel better by marking all our scripts frantically. It's like compensation. 

My fingers hurt, especially my little finger. After not practising for such a long time, it does hurt when I play the more challenging pieces. I'm still trying to slide properly, since it can be a pain sometimes. It's also frustrating how I'm really bad at barre chords. I really need to improve on my skills since we are advancing one level as of October. Meaning to say that there will be new techniques and more tough pieces to learn.

I've been to listening to quite a few of this guy's pieces. (click on the titles to listen)

I especially love 天空の城ラピュタ and 千と千尋の神隠し. This guitarist is really good in my opinion. I don't really like to listen to professional classical guitar players most of the time. Instead, I usually listen to guitar covers done by these kind of talented Youtube guitarists.

(I know that I declared a hiatus, but I'm just dropping by...)
I made a pact, or rather a promise, not to buy any notebooks or soft toys for at least two months.

It went along fine actually. I managed to refrain from buying them for two months. I didn't even buy a new album recently, although I'm really really tempted to hunt down 이승기 4th album, Shadow. But of course, as in life, there are always slips. I bought two teddy bears on Tuesday, which was actually the last day of my so called "promise". So I guess that could be considered a celebration? I realise I always manage to get membership cards from shops like Artbox and EIII Street. All the shops with soft toys in them. Not really surprising. 

I know this place has been really quiet for quite some time.

But.

I now declare a hiatus till November.

Till then.

I may still write some stories every now and then though.
You're welcomed to read them on the other site.

Sachoom (사춤), the dance musical, is a really great show.

My mum actually got tickets for the two of us for yesterday's afternoon show at the Esplanade Theatre Hall!

Our seats were quite good actually. Even though we were at the side, it was the third row from the stage. Due to the NDP rehearsal, the show started fifteen minutes late too - more than enough time for the Korean family who rushed all the way in to sit in front of us.

The dance moves were executed with utmost accuracy and the dancers were all outstanding, even those without the lead roles. Ah, if only I could dance like them.

Halfway through the show, one of the dancers (the best looking guy, in fact) came over to our seats and started to hand out freebies to the two kids in front of me. When he approached me, his body language told me that he wanted to give one to me too. But that guy chose to tease me further, by handing it over to my mum at the very last minute despite my outstretched hand. Afterwards, he did indeed hand me one key-chain and even gave me a high-five as a bonus!

There was a mini photo-taking session with the dancers after the show. I almost took photos with all of the dancers save for two guys because there wasn't enough time. It was such a pity that the guy who gave me a high five was one of the two whom I did not manage to take a picture with. Oh the disappointment. :\

Cr. SapphireMoment @ sj-world.net

Saturday's audition was alright since I managed to hit all the notes without cracking despite losing my voice only days before and being sick. However, I couldn't get the second note right halfway through. That was when I actually freaked out right in front of the conductor. How smart of me.

I didn't think of telling them that I was sick. I don't think that they would be more lenient even if they knew anyway. The interview was normal till the last question. They asked me to tell them more about myself and I was stumped at that. I then proceeded on to telling them about really random stuff and how I got to like singing - they said the last question was partly for their own entertainment anyway, since they were bored sitting there, so I guess the answer doesn't really matter much. Yi Bin didn't get the question for her interview though. 

Right now, it's homework, homework, and homework. I have been procrastinating. Ah well. How I abhor holiday homework.

I know I may get bricked by some people for mentioning this. But I really find 성민 singing 규현's part in 미인아 to be really good. And I prefer 성민 to do the slide rather than 규현. I admit I think 규현 has improved a lot in his dancing and he is a good singer. But 성민's slide seems to be more smooth and less robotic than 규현's. And the part where 규현, 은혁, 동해 and 신동 dance in front. I wish 성민 could replace 규현 for that part. 규현 is much taller than the other three so when he jumps or moves, it just doesn't blend as well as them. I just find that they should have placed 성민 or 이특 for that part. I mean, isn't uniformity something all dancers hope for for group dances? But this is just my opinion. And I do think that 규현 looks good performing his parts nevertheless. (Just that sometimes the focus seems to be on KRY only)

I hope 규현 would come back soon. But I will definitely miss 성민 singing the high part after 려욱, and the sliding. 

And triple crown on 인기가요!!! If I'm not wrong, this is Super Junior's third time getting triple crown!!!!! First was for 'U' in 2006, then 'Sorry Sorry' last year, and now for '미인아'. 

The best part was when I knew Super Junior only got #4 for Music Bank last week, I kept wishing that they would at least get a Mutizen. But they actually got a triple crown instead! 슈주4집대박! 슈주 완전대박!

Right now it hurts even to speak. I'm not sure why I am always so prone to falling ill and my throat swells so easily. My mum said that it could be tonsillitis - I really hope not. So. The biggest problem now is that I have an audition this coming Saturday. And since I am in first soprano, I would have to sing the high notes...How am I even going to reach a high 'A' with my current situation. Sigh.

I really like this line: 

Chatting with Jolene never fails to make me amused.

 !meijun says:

 what will be your first reaction

 if i am your classmate next year?

x  me says:

 O.O

 *looks again* *pinches*

 The

 *then

 freak out

 and then, calm down

 say HI

 again

!meijun says:

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 i was just thinking abt it

x  me says:

 oh well

!meijun says:

 hahahahhahahahahahaha

 just thinking about it

 makes me laugh

 xD

x  me says:

 I don't know

 whether to look forward to it

 or hope

 that I will NOT see you again

 next year

!meijun says:

 xD

 look on fb

 i counted

 this is our 7th year together!

x  me says:

 Didn't you realise...?

!meijun says:

 no i always thought 5

 D:

x  me says:

 ....

!meijun says:

 HAHAHAHA

 i cant stop laughing

 i had this dream

 that you screamed

 when you realise we were classmates

 again

x  me says:

 HAHAHAHHAHAHAAH

 LOOOOOL

 OMG

 what if

 it comes true

!meijun says:

 i will ...

 i dont know what i will do

 i would think that

 it will be cooler if i get to be classmates with a cute guy for 8 years instead

 -.-

x  me says:

 ....................

 Mei Jun

 that's not very possible

 since that cute guy

 can't possibly go to

 crescent

 you do realise

 right?

!meijun says:

That's just sad D:

!meijun says:

 I hate dsa

 D:

x  me says:

 me too

!meijun says:

 should i call them to back out?

x  me says:

 no

!meijun says:

 ...

 87 applicants

 fighting for 5 spots

x  me says:

 You still have

 a one in twenty

 approx

 chance

 of getting in

!meijun says:

 ...

 nah

 coz

 number one

 i have trouble keep my pitch now

 somehow

 D:

 WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MEEE

x  me says:

 ...

 CHILL

 CALM DOWN

 GO FOR IT

 EVEN IF YOU SCREW IT UP

 OR DON'T GET IT

 AT LEAST YOU TRIED

 IF YOU DON'T GO

 FOR ALL YOU KNOW

 NEXT YEAR

 YOU'LL LOOK BACK

 AND REGRET GIVING UP

 THAT ONE IN TWENTY CHANCE

 DO YOU WANT TO GO VJC OR NOT?!?!?!?!

!meijun says:

 err yeah

 but D:

 its a cruel sch

 D:

 the stupid cuttoff

x  me says:

 ....

 I NEED TEAAAAA

 ARGGGH

!meijun says:

 ...

 want breakfast tea?

x  me says:

 no

 i think

 i'll finish my orange juice

 then go make some tea

!meijun says:

 ...

 THAT WILL UPSET YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM

 DDDD:

 NONONO

x  me says:

 .....

!meijun says:

 why not mix it all together?

x  me says:

 -.-

 no thanks

 orange-y stuf + tea

 is ...

 doesn't agree with me

 I know, since I destest earl grey

!meijun says:

 i hate homework

 i hatehatehate homework

 i wish to stuff it into my neighbour's dog's throat

 and also to let it poop on it...T^T

x  me says:

 your neighbour

 would...

 sue you

 and i think

 it would die

 or something

!meijun says:

 well it cant stop barking

 im doing service to the rest of the neighbourhood (depending on how we see it, hahahaha)

 -.-

but yeah, I don't think I will ever have the guts to do it anyway...and I don't dislike the poor dog THAT much after all...

x  me says:

 LOL

!meijun says:

 and i wish that the stupid pile of papers

 will magically vanish

 i gave up trying to flush it away

 it will choke the toilet

 GAH

x  me says:

 looolxz

!meijun says:

 GAHHHH

 i hate hwhwhwhwhwhw

 salalalalkfdposadk

x  me says:

 -.-

!meijun says:

 JAJAJAJ

 BALH

 BLAH

x  me says:

 ..............

!meijun says:

 that was the voice of a person's inner frustrations

x  me says:

 hahaahahaha

!meijun says:

 do you know

 the trumpet

 can render a person deaf

x  me says:

 well

 i'm not deaf

!meijun says:

=)

 guess so

 you know

 my dream

 my biggest dream

 is to be able to star in a musical

 someday

x  me says:

 o.o

!meijun says:

 someday=10% chance of ever happening

x  me says:

 it willll

 well you can always strive to your dream

!meijun says:

 HAHAHAHA

x  me says:

 JY YOU CAN DO IT

 at least your dream

 is more attainable

 then mine

 -.-''''

!meijun says:

 HAHAHAHA

 i will vote  for you ?

x  me says:

 -.-

 I don't want

 to be

 the PM/ anything

 that requires

 voting

!meijun says:

 ah well

Sometimes, I think that the reason why Jo and I can chat with each other everyday on MSN is because both of us are insanely random people.

Anyone wants to teach me Korean?

I've not been here for quite a long time...

Well, right after Chinese Language written paper for the O' Levels, I have been out all week.

After my exam on Monday, I went to VJC with Yi Bin to submit our application forms before going for ACJC's 'An Evening With Friends' concert. This is my second time attending their choir concert, and they are still as good. I especially liked Sons of Jacob.

We met Juniper and Claudia for dinner for the concert and the smoked salmon sandwich I had was really filling. The hour spent in Papermarket with Yi Bin before dinner gave me ideas for my mum's birthday card too. Otherwise, our time at Raffles City before heading over to Esplanade was quite uneventful. Oh, but Juniper nearly got off the train at Raffles Place instead of alighting at City Hall just because we asked her to meet us at Raffles City Shopping centre. Heh.

Tuesday was spent filing all the Chinese Intensive notes, and tidying up my desk. Sad to say, I didn't really start on much homework...

Wednesday on the other hand, was quite a painful day. My mum and I bought new shoes the week before, and I decided to wear my new stilettos since they complement my outfit for that evening. I managed not to trip for the entire day but the walking to VCH from Raffles City with Anna was excruciating for my poor feet. It was good that we went to Raffles City before the concert however, as I got to buy all the materials for my mum's birthday card.

TPJC's 'Plaisir de Chanson' is the first concert I've watched for TPJC choir. They have a really different sound from ACJC. And while ACJC sings more of sacred pieces, TPJC focuses more on folk songs. TP has a brighter tone too - probably due to the Sopranos having such a bright colour. And this is the first time I've seen so many sopranos in one choir. I won't compare both choirs since they sound so different. But I still kind of prefer the songs in ACJC choir (also because they sang The Sons of Jacob). Anna said she likes TP more though, since she doesn't like sacred pieces and finds them more boring. Oh, but the song with all the sounds in the forest...that was awesome! There was this girl in TPJC choir who could imitate the sound of an ape. And a boy who could mimic the cricket sounds!!!

After the guests choirs performed, the choir went on to put on a musical when intermission ended. I wonder when will I ever get the chance to be able to take part in a musical. I don't really think the ABBA medley we did in Musical Evening could be counted.

Thursday morning was then spent on my mum's birthday card. It's finished now, and I really hope my mum will like it! I went to visit Crez choir that afternoon. It's really scary how they are just a week away from their overseas performance and they still have three more songs to learn. I really don't understand the slow progress and they all seemed to be in agony while singing the songs. But I think the worst news was that Mrs Lim chose all the challenging pieces to make up the repertoire. As much as I wish to help them and learn the pieces with them, we do realise that we should make the juniors independent instead. Somehow, the juniors have come to rely on us a lot. I'm not even sure what to do now.

I had dinner with Ms Ong, Ariel, Juniper, Yi Bin, Claudia, Timothy and Ms Ong's other student from Wild Empire on Friday night. We ate at Modesto's. We talked loads about the different choirs. Dessert from Fruit Paradise wasn't really my cup of tea although the rest seemed to love it. Yi Bin also went on to take plenty of candid shots of everyone.

Saturday came and I met Yi Bin to revise on our singing techniques with Ms Ong. It was really a last minute decision and a crash course. I did badly.

Guitar lesson on the next day was alright I guess. I managed to play the entire piece in its tremolo version. But I still can't do the tremolo technique nicely. Well, the teacher said it takes years to master it. Waltz is the next song we have for homework.

I won't be surprised if I fail the auditions actually. Sure, I have lots of CCA points, I have a few leadership positions since my first year in my school. But my singing is not all that outstanding. And to add on, I'm having a sore throat and I can't reach the high notes nicely anymore. My support techniques are weak. I can't kick my diaphragm as fast as last time. The list goes on and on. I guess, I must start doing leg lifts and crunches again? Oh the horror.

If only I can focus just on my Chinese language instead of needing to study for my MYEs too...

On a lighter note, I passed my Chinese Oral!!! I almost thought I'd failed because I guessed so many words in the reading passage and my conversation component was really lacking since I didn't really know what points to say... Ah well. The best news to me about this oral exam however, was that I scored a good 9/10 for my reading. Which is just unbelievable, because I'm well-known to be atrocious in speaking Mandarin. Maybe it's because the teacher said I had good expression. Heh. Ah, if only O'levels would be this smooth-sailing...

English language oral examination was not for my mid-year results however - the result will be taken and added directly to my preliminary exam results. Given that I didn't really practise or prepare, I thought I did alright. It was a waste that I stuttered during the reading part and I *gasps* interpreted the picture wrongly! I wonder if they will penalize you for that...

Conversation went rather well actually,

My second question was

Actually, I think I could have said more and answered better for the other two questions. But alas, because I was overly concerned and nervous about my answers, I didn't really expand or elaborate much on my views. Which is a great pity. I hope I will still be able to do well, despite all the mistakes I made.

Alright then, I shall sign off here to get back to studying!~

Fighting!

Somehow, I feel that time is trickling by way too fast for me. Before I know it, I'm already drowning in mock examinations, class tests, timed trials, pop quizzes and the Mid-year examinations which is looming over my head like a blade ready to slice through my thick neck.

Why is it that they praise our education so when the students don't seem to have any time to breathe? I sometimes wonder that. I do cherish the fact that I get the chance to have a proper education, in a nice and clean environment with good facilities and such. But I guess all things come with a price. I feel like I have lost all my dreams and cheeriness to school sometimes.

Most adults work a nine to five job. Most students study from seven to five. Not to forget the workload students bring home is comparable to most adults. In the end, the worries about unpaid bills and grown-up stuff is nearly comparable with the stress lots of students face with their academic pursuits and peer pressure. Not to mention the expectations and competition they must consistently tackle. And the equally late nights and even earlier alarms which results in more sleep deprivation in students today as compared to adults.

In fact, I rarely hear adults saying that we students have it good anymore. Instead, they tell us that we have a hard life and sympathise with us, never failing to mention that in their time, it was so much more easier and going to school actually seemed to be a likeable prospect - something almost impossible to comprehend by many students.

See the difference?

It's true that you can't have the cake and eat it.

The person I've become. What would those I'd previously known say if they see how I am now?

Sometimes, I feel that my childhood had been much shorter than my peers, because of the various events that took place within such a short period of time. I found myself maturing far more quickly that my classmates then. I grew independent. Yet lonely at the same time.

My fifth birthday wish was impossible to come true: I wanted an older brother. At that time, I still didn't have my 'bird and bees' talk and thought that a family could pre-order their children. Well, but of course I got distracted by my first pink bicycle which I got for my birthday instead. How easily children are satisfied.

Maybe it is indeed better for one to be the only child. After all, a sibling would steal your parent's attention and affection. Or parents would make comparisons between the siblings. That would be awful, I agree.

Somehow, the wish to have an older sibling has disappeared. But just sometimes, a small part of me wishes that my mum would be happier. I realise it's almost impossible to be happy with the job she has. That aside, I sometimes wished she has more friends to support her. She has given up so much for me. How great an unconditional love is - especially a mother's.


A chapter of my life has come to a small ending - I will need to focus on my major examinations now. My last choir performance was Speech day. Even though we sped up, we did well I guess. My beloved juniors prepared so much for our batch that I was too surprised and touched to say much in person.

I will miss choir so much. I wonder how it will be not to practise or perform for the months ahead. Some say they live to eat. Well, I live to perform. One of the times I feel the happiest would be when I'm preparing tirelessly for an upcoming performance and another would be when I finally get out there onstage and show what I'd worked so hard for, and to be under the limelight, receiving every one's encouragement. I really do love performing. Not being able to perform makes me feel helpless and stifled. I wonder what my future career would be. Of course, my dream is to be an artiste, or a performer. But it's kind of difficult. Plus, this country's entertainment industry is really small. There isn't even much of a market to start with.

I feel helpless.

I'm tired of it all.
I wonder when I will be able to escape from these shadows.
I wish it will stop hurting.



.

I’ve been feeling quite moody for the past few days. It is true that it’s partly because I’m sick and currently am only able of croaking or sounding like a guy at my best.

This is the first time I could not cheer for Keller or anyone during the Sports Carnival. And to think this will be my last Sports Carnival. It was quite boring at some parts but everyone was especially excited during the Staff Relay. I never knew Mr Chng and Ms Loo could sprint so fast! As for Mr Tan, he didn’t let Keller down and his sprint impressed many people. Well, for someone who participates in marathons each year, it’s not really that surprising. Unfortunately, even though the three teachers were really fast and helped Keller to be the first for that race, we are still the last house. Keller has never won anyway.

This week seemed to jolt me back to my past though. I met Hui Xuan’s mother while on the MRT train on Tuesday. It was really awkward to answer her questions about me however – I found the questions a little too personal. I felt a little bad for not telling her the full picture of what happened to my family and other things. But that feeling disappeared after her questions turned really personal and she started to give me advice which I do not actually need. I don’t know why but I get a little apprehensive and uncomfortable when she started advising me about my family matters. I mean, she doesn’t know the full picture so I don’t think it is right to assume what had happened. But, I’m sorry, auntie, that I just told half-truths and didn’t want to answer your questions directly. If only I didn’t tell her my name, things would have been better. She didn’t recognize me at first and said that I have changed a lot in terms of appearances.

Monday’s train journey back was one that shocked me the most though. I thought I saw someone important who I haven’t spoken to since January last year. That person had been a confidante. Till now, I still don’t know if I had offended that person but it definitely is sad that we don’t talk to each other anymore. I tried to ask if I really did see the person on the train the day after but as usual, there wasn’t a definite answer. But I’m sure I didn't recognise wrongly this time. How and why did we drift apart again? I used to hope that I can forget.

"Do you think we will still keep in touch with each other years later?"
"Hey, if you have a girlfriend one day, will you still call me?"

We are still masters of our fate.
We are still captains of our souls.
-Winston Churchill

Warning: Kpop mentioned in post.

I feel a little guilty for neglecting to update this blog as frequently as I used to. Homework, assignments, projects, mock examinations and timed trials are taking their toll on me though.

The Singapore Entertainment Awards event was fun.

I was browsing through the shops in Raffles City shopping mall before meeting Rosi for dinner. Somehow or rather, I managed to get mistaken for a tourist again. A girl near my age spoke to me in Korean and English. I was in Papermarket and there was this container full of cute pencils, and I automatically held one up and debated whether I should buy it as a gift or for myself. Suddenly the girl popped up on my right and immediately took another pencil of a similar design and stated, "Pencil." and smiled widely at me. I honestly did not know how I should react and just smiled and nodded at her. That action alone seemed to get her even more excited and after I placed back a sharpener I have been holding onto the shelf, she picked it up and stated, "Pencil sharpener!". I then wondered if she was a tourist. In the end she started to speak to me in Korean. Once she realise I didn't understand a single bit of the one-sided dialogue though, she walked back to her group of friends in one corner of the shop with a disappointed look. Throughout the whole scene, I could not think of anything to say at all. It was just too surprising.

When I went into That CD Shop, one sales assistant could not stop recommending albums for me to buy. It was really amusing. I made it clear to her the first time she asked that I was only browsing through and do not intend to buy anything from the shop. But she did not give up and continued suggesting CDs to me and after a while she decided to pester a few tourists instead. I felt a little bad for the lady beside me who was ignored by the girl the whole time. She wasn't a tourist. Then again, does it really matter if the customer is a local?

I found people glancing at me in the shopping mall too. Maybe the sight of a girl shopping alone seemed odd to them. Or maybe it was because I was just walking around the whole mall. Seeing Winny at the entrance while waiting for Rosi at six in the evening was surprising - I didn't expect to see anyone familiar.

Dinner with Rosi and Yitong at Shokudo was really good. My plate of cold noodles were tasty albeit a tad too filling. We then met Sarah, Jia Wen and her family afterwards. Our group walked a the way to the Marina Floating Platform. We nearly went in the wrong direction if not for the large crowd walking to the venue - they were also going for the event.

We managed to find our seats without too much difficulty and had a mini photo snapping session of each other. Everyone went wild when SHINee made their entrance. In fact, I realised that a good half of the audience were Shawols. The girl sitting in front of me had a SHINee light stick.

All the artistes performed well although 小鬼's voice sounded a little hoarse - I suspect he was sick. When SHINee performed, the crowd went absolutely wild. Everyone either stood on their seats or rushed forward to the barricades. And the screaming was a huge indication of the number of Shawols present. Even the emcees were surprised.

Of course, SHINee didn't disappoint and pulled off a great stage performance. However, once they left the stage, people started to leave, even though the singer, Eason Chen, was still performing on stage after SHINee. It was a little awkward and I felt a little sorry for the poor singer on stage even though I never really knew how to appreciate his songs. Sometimes, fans can be insensitive unknowingly.

I met my mum after the event and unfortunately, we could not catch the last train home. We had no choice but to try for a taxi which took ages to come because everyone was queuing up for taxis too.

These days school life has been pretty exhausting. I can't wait to step down because it's getting more difficult to manage all three leadership positions in one go, with my studies included. Hopefully, I will be able to focus more on my academics when I let go two of my leadership positions. I am getting a little worried about choir though - the seniors are not doing as well as they should. I'm just praying that they will be able to guide the juniors when the time comes.