I've succumbed to Tumblr. It's quite interesting and I often reblog stuff that appears on my dashboard every few minutes. To put it simply, it's the ideal site for people who love posting more pictures than huge chunks of text or plain lazy bloggers (like me). I created an account recently. Don't click on the link if you are some anti-Kpop extremist though. Don't say I wasn't kind enough to warn you (I usually can't be bothered).Which reminds me, I still have my empty Wordpress account to take care of. What should I use it for?

That aside, I've been lagging behind in French. With the holidays and whatnot, I've entered the 'lazy bum' mode. I'm sure that when I return to school, French lessons would go back to being a mass of foreign matter to me once more. Why didn't I pick 한굴 in the first place? I find it strange that my cousin Dennis who initially wanted to learn Japanese ended up with French too. Somehow we ended up picking French (and I'm not even sure of the reason). It'd be awesome if I were to be able to master French and Korean someday. I could get a job as a translator! 

Anyway, the past few days have been spent on getting the stuff necessary for my camp next week. I've yet to complete my packing since I had to unearth all the clothes I usually wear for camp. The ones that I won't mind getting torn or dirty. I hope the camp would be fun! The rest of my classmates are in other groups while I'm alone, but I guess that means it'll be easier to make new friends. The camp's in Kota Tinggi (sp?) and I had to get a new passport just for it, since my previous passport was expiring in six months.

Too bad I can't show my cute nine-year-old self as my passport photo. When I used my old passport last year, the airport security took a second glance to check if it's the same person. I must admit it's not surprising some people think that I've undergone some sort of plastic surgery. The difference is quite scary. But I've not gone under the knife and I'm still under-aged for plastic surgery in Singapore. To be honest, I'm not against the idea of people undergoing plastic surgery actually. I think it's alright as long as you come out looking better and you're fine with telling others about it. Plus it takes guts to go through the pain and side-effects from the surgeries. Guts that I lack. 

For the first time, I managed to cook my instant noodles perfectly. I managed to get the amount of water right, the timing right, and the noodles were cooked. It's quite a feat because I'd usually end up with half-cooked noodles. I happily started on my noodles after I managed to cooked it so well, only to realise that I'd forgotten to add the seasoning in. The bowl of noodles was as bland as paper (yes, I've tasted paper many times while eating burgers). This is the second time I forgot. Cooking is troublesome! 

It seems that it's an unlucky day for me, since I burnt myself with the iron afterwards. I was ironing a few tees - those made of cotton are the only clothes my mum allows me to iron - when I burnt my arm. It's going to scar and it's kind of swollen now. It still hurts a little. 

You know what? I doubt I'll ever make a brilliant housewife. Maybe if I could get a rich tycoon for my husband, I'd be a rich taitai. I'd live my life attending high teas with other RTTs and get a butler at home. Haha. I think the pain is tampering with my mind now. 

I went to the zoo on Monday. I felt a little disheartened that a few enclosures were closed and the animals were relocated (or hidden, I bet). I miss Inuka the polar bear. At least a few penguins are still there and I managed to visit those which were shifted to Jurong Bird Park during June with Jo. 

I went to watch Super Junior Super Show 3 - 3D Movie with my mum this afternoon. I didn't attend the actual concert when they came to Singapore in January. Mummy offered to pay for my concert ticket but I chose not to go since I couldn't find anyone to go with me anyway. Not to mention the fact that I spent quite a bit of my savings while in South Korea last year. I miss that place very badly, by the way. I wish to go back sometimes.

Anyway, before I go off tangent, it was great watching the movie. We got good seats too - second row from the back, right smack in the middle. I had to resist squealing each time Sungmin or Kyuhyun appeared on-screen. Seriously. I settled for clenching my hands or clamping them over my mouth. A few girls in the cinema could not resist squealing too - their favourite member was Yesung or Donghae, I think.  

Watching it in 3D makes it much more realistic than on DVD. Although they only showed a few parts of the entire concert, I think it's worth the $60 I paid for the tickets (it's $30 for one ticket). It's great that they even included an epilogue featuring Kangin who is in the army at the moment. I miss the days when it was all 13 of the boys onstage. That seems like a long time ago now. It's amazing how I've been a fan for so long.

Oh, and it's 추석 (Chuseok) now! Here's a song for the holiday! (Sungmin looks so cute in the yellow!)

My visit back to Crescent on Thursday felt strange. I felt kind of jaded. Like I didn't belong. I used to see my seniors coming back and rushing to take pictures with the teachers. There was no such thing for me though. Perhaps it's because I was never close to my teachers to begin with. Don't get me wrong, I think Crescent teachers are truly awesome and passionate about their job. I just never got close to them, like my friends did. It doesn't help that I wasn't much of a 'clique person' back then too. I was always with different people all the time in class. But I got to know great friends nevertheless. I hung out with Yimin and Angela during recess breaks and I have Jo who is my oldest best friend. My friends called me the 'social butterfly' however, since they all have their own respective cliques that I never really belonged in, unfortunately.

My appetite has been strange lately. I get hungry and I still love looking at food, but when the food appears under my nose, I have no appetite to eat it. Even if my tummy's growling. It's as if my mouth feels too lazy to open. I've been getting fatter too. Seems like I'm always having issues with my weight. I must really start exercising for real. 

I'm also going to make use of the free time I have now to revise on my French. I feel so embarrassed after I realised how many stupid mistakes I made for my exam. I actually forgot apples are "pommes" in French. I wrote something entirely different instead. Stupid me. I don't really wish to see my score for this exam. I might fail. Agh.

By the way, since I'm already typing about French, I came across this phrase a few days ago,

The rough translation of the sentence is that we lose what we have when we want to have everything. It's quite true, really. When we get greedy, we often tend to lose sight of what we used to cherish. It's only at the end when we realised what we've lost that we regret. I wish I could be easily contented with what I have though. I mean, I'm generally happy with my life now. But if true happiness means having no regrets, not wanting anything more than what I have now, or having a long wishlist - then maybe I'm not that happy. I'm happy but not extremely or very happy. Alright, I think I'm confusing myself here. I just want to say that it'd be great if I'm not so greedy with my wants (like wanting to buy even more albums when I have so many CDs at home).To sum it up, we should try our best to hold on to what we have instead of grasping at what we do not.

It's like the Greek myth of Atalanta and the three golden apples. Hippomenes wanted to court Atalanta, a strong yet arrogant beauty who had many suitors. Eventually, she got tired of their attention and told her suitors that she'd give her hand in marriage to the man who could outrun her in a foot race, but should they fail, they'd die. Because she was such a swift runner, she was sure that she could beat every man who challenged her. Not surprisingly, many men died at her hands.

Hippomenes decided to seek the help of Aphrodite who handed him three golden apples and instructions for the race. He then managed to outrun Atalanta not by speed, but by the golden apples he left on the ground as he ran with all his might. As per instructions, he deliberately dropped the three golden apples that Aphrodite gave him during the race. Atalanta stopped each of the three times just to pick those apples up, leaving Hippomenes enough time to win. She was too distracted by the golden apples that she had never seen before. They eventually got married since Hippomenes won.

Although the message of the story isn't the same as the French phrase, it still tells of greed aside from overconfidence. There are other Greek myths which also warn of the dangers of greed in a clearer way, but I can only remember this myth for now. Come to think of it, there are plenty of fables out there which speak of the importance of being contented and warn against greed. But being greedy is sort of a human thing. Isn't it?

I have one more CA10 left to go and I'll be free to enjoy my holidays. I'm kind of glad that I don't have to mug for exams like other students out there given the uniqueness of my course. There can't be exams about writing after all.

I'm sorry if I haven't been updating this blog for a while (if anyone actually comes here at all). The bulk of my CAs are done. I just have two more to tackle and hopefully, I'd be able to do well for all my modules. 

It was my turn for Show and Tell last week and I sang 'Somewhere over the Rainbow'. My voice isn't as strong before. Probably due to the lack of practice. I miss singing so, so much. Even more than that, I miss performing on a stage. There's nothing better than being able to perform to an audience, bringing an artform to live and showcasing a masterpiece. I miss that. 

It was a relief that my classmates didn't mind my singing. I'm not exactly a great pop singer. I seem to sing choral pieces more comfortably as compared to pop songs. Unless it's classical pop. Anyway, I'm glad that they were alright with what I sang. 

Moving on, Stella showed two parts of my favourite movie 'Spirited Away' during lesson last week! Too bad it was the English-dubbed version. The Japanese version with all the original seiyu was so much better! I ended up watching the movie the seventh time that night, since I realised I forgot parts of the movie while watching the two short segments in class. That's just how much I love the film.

I also found out how great anime OSTs can be, by the way. I'm using four anime tracks for my VC CA10. I know most are using pop songs but I find instrumentals easier to convey emotions. In fact, I was listening to Joe Hisaishi's compositions on loop while writing my CSM CA10 piece. It keeps me focused and more importantly, inspired. Hopefully, my story would be given a good grade. I wrote about self-esteem. Part of the story is true actually. It's up to those who have read it to guess which parts are true and which parts are not. 

I'm not too sure how I should end off since it's been such a long time since I last blogged. I just saw this quote on Twitter a few minutes ago though, and I thought it kind of relates to my story:

It's true. The most painful thing in life is that sometimes we lose sight of who we are because we value others' opinions way too much. We forget that we're special in our own ways too.

This year's National Day Parade was different from the previous ones. It was made into a five-act musical featuring the relationship between a mother and son whilst showing how the nation has progressed over the decades. There was also an acoustic version of the national anthem accompanied by the fireworks that were synchronized to the beat of the music. Nothing better than to stir up everyone's patriotism with colourful fireworks and awesome music. 

I haven't got much time to update for the past few days. I managed to leave my house keys at home last week. I was locked out for two and a half hours before my mum could rush back to open the door for me. It was a horrible time spent getting grilled by the sun - I'd much rather wait at the bus stop than to sit with my neighbour who is a lunatic. 

Oh, and our class went to Kinderland last Friday, to tell them two of the children stories our classmates wrote. My group's story about the traffic light's Red Man and Green Man was picked and it was interesting watching the reactions of the little kids around us while we told the story. There was also this girl, Natanya/Natania, who was not shy at all. She answered nearly all the questions asked by Ms Stella and hugged me when she heard that there would be a story about bears next week (she's scared of bears). The children were just all so cute!

There was also the series of projects given to us, all due at the end of the month. I'm worried if I'd be able to finish it on time and yet do a good job. I've been questioning my capabilities these days. 

Anyway,

I've been feeling really depressed for the past few days. I think I'm PMS-ing. I feel so drained that I'm too tired to even smile anymore. It's those moments of self-doubt, when you find that you wish to do so much but you're not excelling in anything. My old gastric problem is also back and it's not making things any better.

On a brighter note, I finally got my French results today. I did fairly well and at least it was above my expectations. I managed to get 78/100 for my test. Unfortunately, I doubt I'd do as well for the upcoming test since I skipped two lessons and I've got quite a bit of catching up to do.

By the way, I was having lunch at Burger King with my classmates on Monday and Avelin actually got a box of funnel cakesticks for free. I think the staff at the counter accidentally slotted it in while rushing through our orders. These things taste and smell like play-dough though. Not too appealing to eat after the first bite.

"Can I be considered as a best friend?"
"Do you believe in fate?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"I don't believe in best friends."
"Why?"
"Friends come and go after a while."
"What about best friends then?"
"They'll still leave in the end."
"Will you keep in contact with me in the future?"
"No. Do you believe in fate?"
"I don't know. Maybe?"
"If it's meant to be, we'll meet."
"Do you believe in soulmates then?"
"Everything is the same. They are just labels."

I guess it's a pessimist's way of thinking about friendship. Ironically, my friend believed in destiny. I can't remember the exact words, but the conversation played out as shown above. It's not surprising that we're not in touch anymore. He was right that friends come and go in life. It's tough keeping hold of a friend. I try my best to talk and hold on to most of my friends but people do drift apart sometimes, I guess. Either that or I've been an awful friend to have lost touch with so many people. The one who said all those cynical lines above in particular. But it could be for the better sometimes. There's never a direct answer when it comes to human relations, is there? 

My tutorial today was canceled as my lecturer had a family emergency to attend to. I hope my lecturer is alright. It seems pretty serious if she has to cancel a tutorial in the last minute. 

Unfortunately, I was tapping out of the ticketing barrier at Dover station when I received the text message that there would be no tutorial today. Since they were also already on their way to school, I waited for Matin and Zi Wei at the station. We wanted to meet Avelin, Joey and Wai Meng afterwards but they asked us to head over to Orchard Road first since they wanted to finish up their breakfast at Raffles Place. They ended up staying at Raffles Place till noon instead, while Matin, Zi Wei and me ended up loitering in Takashimaya. 

The three of us spent nearly two hours at the McDonalds' at Lucky Plaza. I've not been to town for ages actually. The last time I was in that same McDonalds', I was with Juniper, Yi Bin and Claudia. We were ordering the tops for the choir's performance at the Singapore Conference Hall. That was two years ago. I guess I didn't really go out that much when I was a Secondary school student, huh. 

We later went to the Kinokuniya branch at Takashimaya. I bought a novel and then dragged the guys over to the stationery section. They didn't seem fascinated by it though. On my way there, I found this handbook on Singlish and it was really interesting learning the different terms. I didn't know Singlish could be so complex or diversified! Anyway, we tried to search for Zi Wei's manga afterwards but either the shelf doesn't exist or the book is hidden in some obscure corner. I'm guessing it's the former. 

Lunch with mummy at Bugis Junction afterwards was nice. Mummy bought another two books for me at the Kinokuniya branch over there. They were not really pricey so she decided to buy it for me. I've got plenty of books to read now! I just need to find time to read them all.

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By the way, I just realised it's Racial Harmony Day today! Happy Racial Harmony Day, everyone! Maybe we could get everyone to dress up in ethnic costumes next year!

Why is everything placed on a Wednesday? This wouldn't be the first time I'd be skipping French lesson when I think I really ought not to. But the leadership training session seems important too. There is also the briefing for the leadership camp going on at the same time and I need to hand in my registration form for that too. I'm just glad that my dilemma isn't as complex as Wai Meng's, who has so many more events to go for tomorrow. 

Today's the first time I went back to school on a Sunday. It was all for my General Education project. I didn't even know we had a project till one of my Gen Ed classmate told me about it. Thank goodness my group finished it within three hours this afternoon - just a day before the presentation. 

It's also the second day I skipped lunch. I haven't been feeling well and I couldn't eat much before leaving for the SIWF yesterday. It was the same today too and I got really hungry once it's mid-afternoon. But there's no way I'd be losing weight any time soon. Mummy is shoving food to me just because I couldn't eat lunch on both days. I can see my weight fluctuating once more. 

One more thing:

IS THERE A WAY TO REMOVE A SPLINTER PAINLESSLY?

There's a splinter embedded in my palm. It got stuck when I carried the wooden paddles to the raft after the race yesterday. Help. 

Last Sunday was my last guitar lesson. I didn't say much to my teacher or to Eugenia and Tammy. I didn't know what to say. All I knew was that I felt really emotional, thinking of the past four and a half years with them.  While Mr Wong went to photocopy a Beatles' song, the two girls and I talked about how the first few years were. 

I remember Eugenia being the only girl coming to the first lesson in a skirt (not a wise choice). There was also Eugene who sat next to me for the first year before he quit altogether. He was the guy who nearly snapped his guitar strings while trying rasgueado and caused Kai Ming (who left the class in the first year too) to laugh so hard that he had to step outside just to cool down. There were also Jason, Owen and a few others whose name I've forgotten. That was the original class, before more students were added in to replace those who'd left. 

I managed to take a photo with Mr Wong and the two girls before I left - not for good, I hope. Maybe there'd be a day when I'd go back. I couldn't help but cry a little afterwards but it's time to move on, I guess. I've already made my decision and I mean to stick by it. 

That aside, lots of things have been happening and I've been kept so busy and tired with my projects and whatnot that I've not gotten much time to blog. There was the Singapore International Water Festival (SIWF) organised by SP at the Marina Barrage today. I was a last minute addition to the raft race team for CASS so I went to support them for the raft race. I still feel bad that I could not get on the raft. I mean, if I could have done the rowing, Matin would not have to rush from his photo shoot to get to the Marina Barrage in time for the race without his lunch. 

It's a mystery why I am such a bad swimmer - that is if I can count as swimmer. I've taken swimming lessons (no thanks to my secondary school), but my hand-leg coordination is horrible and the coach kind of gave up on me after several failed attempts to teach me the technique of treading water. Till today, I have no idea how one treads water. Which is really scary to me, since that is the basic survival skill when you get thrown into water. It's a miracle that I could kayak for three days during OBS. Well, not that much of a miracle actually, since I was coerced into kayaking. There wasn't a choice. My poor friends had to pull me by the life-vest each time we went into the sea. I really should learn how to swim, so that I never need to inconvenience anyone because of it again. 

Painting the raft aluminium turned out to be quite a good thing, since it was a really striking colour. It was easy to see which was our raft, even when Zhao Yi, Stefanie and Matin were out in the waters. It was pretty cute watching them paddle. Unfortunately, when they finally reached the jetty, there was some difficulty in getting the three of them and the raft out of the water. I freaked out initially because Matin looked like he was in agony from where I was standing - imagine Ms Josephine's and my shock when he dropped into the water instead of getting onto the platform. We ran down to the jetty immediately and the two of us were panicking (well Ms Josephine was pretty calm but her face looked really anxious). 

Once we got down to the jetty, the three of them were already out of the water. Turned out that Matin's foot was just caught in the ropes and he dived underneath to get it out, I think. At least it wasn't anything serious - although I really thought that he was in agony for a while. Zhao Yi and Stefanie managed to get out after being hauled up by one of the student helpers. The student helpers were a great help by the way - especially so when the raft was so heavy. 

The three of them later went to the water play area to cool off, with Afiq joining afterwards. I guess I spent the time watching little kids play with the fountains. There was this cute little toddler who rush back to hug his dad's leg each time he got scared of the fountain. I couldn't help but smile while watching him. I think I now can understand a little of how parents feel when they watch their children play or grow. The little boy was utterly adorable!

There wasn't much to do after the race. The team finished second from the back, which is good nevertheless. I mean, the raft wasn't built for speed so it wasn't that bad. Not to mention that the three looked like they had fun rowing today. It was a nice experience, I suppose. Maybe I should learn how to swim before trying for the raft race next year!

(credits to A Celebration of Women)

It was quite a fruitful weekend for me. After such a long time, I finally went shopping with my mum. I spent quite a large portion of what I'd saved from my allowance. Well, I'll just comfort myself with the fact that it's been a long time since I'd gone shopping with anyone. Aside from clothes, I bought the le sucre rabbit dolls I've been wanting to buy for so long! I actually got one from Gimpo airport last year but now my rabbit has company! I was gushing over the little pushcart stall with the rabbit dolls before I settled on getting two to bring home. We then went around browsing through the shops. My mum and I returned home really tired after spending an entire afternoon at Vivo City. I should start saving more money so I could buy more things the next time. Maybe I could try skipping lunch again - I used to do that in secondary school. 

That aside, I wonder if I should start a 微博 (weibo) account. After such a long time, I've kind of lost touch with my Mother Tongue. I catch myself being tongue-tied each time someone speaks to me in Mandarin. It takes me a longer time to process everything now. I've forgotten a lot of the idioms and phrases 林老师 taught us during the countless lessons. Come to think of it, I sort of enjoyed Chinese Language lessons back when my teachers were nice. 

My very first teacher was this young lady from China who wore at least 3-inch platforms to my preschool daily. She taught us purely through rote learning. My huge fear of 听写 (Mandarin dictation; something like spelling, except in Chinese characters) started all from the tender age of five. When I failed my weekly 听写 the teacher's glare would be so petrifying and I would have to do all the corrections many times over. Which was no different from all the 习字 exercises she made us do to practise anyway. But come to think of it, it was because of all the memory work I had to do that helped me later. I mean, Mandarin used to be one of my weaker subjects till I met this awfully nice teacher when I was twelve. 陈老师 taught us a lot and helped to provide English translations for all the phrases we didn't understand. Thankfully, I managed to do well for the subject and moved on to Crescent, where all the teachers, especially 林老师, were really good too. Thus my Mandarin improved a lot. 

Now that I can no longer go for 林老师's lessons, I find that I don't really have an opportunity to use Mandarin anymore. It's no surprise that my Mandarin is getting rusty. It gets awkward when I automatically reply in English right after someone speaks to me in Mandarin. Really awkward. Then the auntie or uncle would presume that I'm not local and struggle to reply in English and ask me questions about my hometown (they think I'm a tourist from either Korea or Vietnam). I seriously ought to stop this bad habit of mine. 

Anyway, I was thinking about having a weibo account which would force me to use Mandarin. The problem is that I'm already having quite a tough time making out the words on the homepage. Or I could just post in Mandarin on Twitter. I'm just making things more complicated by having a weibo actually. Hm.

By the way, I just took a personality test a few days ago. The last time I took one was four years ago. Apparently I'm no longer an ISTP based on the Myers-Briggs personality type. My current personality type is quite similar to my previous though. Somehow I feel that my current fits me more actually. I wonder if the Myer-Briggs personality types are accurate. To fit everyone's personality into sixteen categories, there'll bound to be exceptions all the time. I guess it depends on individual beliefs - something like astrology. 

Part of my doodles today.

Recently, I feel like there are two different sides of me. You know those cartoon shows where a devil and an angel appear over the character's shoulder? Yeah, something like that, just without all the cutesy illustrations or the mocking laughter. I've never felt this way before.